


Life's Sweetest Reward

by ikkiM



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1970s, F/M, The Love Boat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 22:10:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16167875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikkiM/pseuds/ikkiM
Summary: After being dumped by her boyfriend, Brienne Tarth decides to go on their planned holiday on the Jewel of Braavos cruise liner alone. With his stepsister about to marry another, Jaime Lannister manages to book a last minute cruise package. What will happen when they meet aboard the good ship JB?graphic by justme





	1. Come Aboard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justme (silver_spring)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_spring/gifts), [hardlyfatal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hardlyfatal/gifts), [QuizzicalQuinnia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuizzicalQuinnia/gifts), [bearsofair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearsofair/gifts), [jesterkoops](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterkoops/gifts), [Aerest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerest/gifts), [WackyGoofball](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WackyGoofball/gifts), [NamelessPasserby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelessPasserby/gifts).



> This is the Love Boat fic no one asked for...and has been sitting in my fic folder, unfinished and moldering for almost a year. I hope it makes you laugh. Happy JB Week!
> 
> I owe so much to so many people at [JaimeBrienneOnline](https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/jaime_x_brienne/discussion/all) but these particular ladies have kept me sane (so far) this hiatus. You've kept the board running; you've gotten us through the transition to TT. You've listened to me bitch. You've been my friends. Thank you for your support. I'm linking your names to this ridiculous fic so you can never get away!

Brienne Tarth looked down at the smear of soot on the leg of her brand new white bell-bottom pantsuit and sighed. She used one hand to hold her large, floppy sun hat to her head and the other to pull her travel bag down the dock. This trip had already been a disaster and she hadn’t even boarded the boat yet. She never should have come.

It was supposed to have been the trip of a lifetime, a romantic cruise from King’s Landing to Braavos and back, with her boyfriend, Hyle Hunt. They’d booked one of the larger staterooms, one with a balcony and a king-sized bed. She’d _thought_ he was planning to propose. While she wasn’t sure she’d been in love, at least the kind of crazy romantic love she saw in movies, she’d been comfortable with Hyle. She’d thought they would be happy together. How wrong she’d been.

Had it really only been three days since she’d come home to a message from Hyle on her brand new answering machine?

_Brienne, hey, it’s me. Look. I’m sorry but I’ve found someone else. I mean, you’re great, but I think, I mean, we aren’t right you know? Or maybe, I don’t know. Sometimes I think that you think I’m not good enough, but well, come on? All women are the same in the dark, but you have to know, don’t you? It was hard for me. Anyway, I think it’s over between us and I hope you’re okay with that. About the cruise, I’m not going, but I already paid but I’m not going一_

The machine had cut him off at that point. She should have been devastated. She should have ripped the miniature cassette from the machine and torn it to shreds. She should have at least cried. Instead, she’d sat on her couch, angry that he’d _stolen_ her first real vacation in five years. She’d needed this cruise. Working for Randyll Tarly was a nightmare. He was never going to promote her. Brienne knew that now. She’d wanted to take the cruise partly to decide where she was going with her life since she knew she couldn’t continue working at Horn Hill press. She’d always be some man’s lackey there.

Twelve hours after she’d heard Hyle’s message, she’d decided to go on the cruise alone. She didn’t need Hyle, or any man for that matter. She could still do all the activities they’d planned. These cruises were famous for romance.  Not that she would have a romance, or a shipboard fling. That just wasn’t in the cards for a woman like her, too tall, too ugly, not delicate or pretty and she hardly had any boobs to notice. Certainly nothing about her would attract a man when there were bound to be beautiful women in bikinis around. Unless he were lonely. Or desperate. Or desperately lonely. That didn’t matter. She could have a good time on her own.

Brienne had turned off her answering machine and ignored all the other calls from Hyle. It had felt awesome. She’d turned in her resignation to Tarly, and packed her suitcase with all the new items she’d bought for the trip. Now here she was, heading up the gangplank to board the flagship in the Highgarden Cruise Line fleet, the Jewel of Braavos.

Brienne caught the wheels of her case on the gangplank for what seemed like the eighth time. She yanked it free. She wanted to be one of the first to board the ship, so that once she was settled in, there would be no turning back. And there was a greater chance of making a _friend_. There were only two people, an elderly couple, ahead of her, being greeted by two men and a woman of the JB crew.

“This is our ninety-seventh cruise,” the gent told the younger man. “And Highgarden line is our favorite.”

The woman leaned in and stage whispered, “So much better than the Ironborn ships. Their food is terrible. We celebrated our forty-fifth wedding anniversary on an Ironborn cruise and I told Howland never again.”

The Highgarden crew members made both sympathetic and enthusiastic noises.

Finally, the couple had moved on and it was her turn. She held her boarding pass out to the group of cruise line employees.

An older man in white knee socks and shorts glanced at her documents before passing them on to the handsome young man beside him, freeing his hand to grab hers. “Welcome, Bryn, welcome. I’m Captain Tyrell but everyone calls me Captain Mace. We’re so glad to have you here aboard the good ship BJ.”

“JB,” the handsome man and the gorgeous brunette-dyed blonde corrected him in unison with the look of put-upon children.

The woman smiled at her. “Welcome aboard. The Jewel of Braavos will traveling across the Narrow Sea with Pentos as our first port-of-call before heading to the famed city of Braavos. From there we will spend the rest of our time at sea before returning to King’s Landing.”

The man looked at her documents and then up at her, way up. Everyone always did. Brienne forced herself not to hunch down to his level. “Brienne? Not Brian?” he asked.

“Loras, don’t be rude,” the smirking girl scolded him before turning to Brienne with a sunny smile. “I’m Margaery, your cruise director. And this is Loras, my brother and the head purser. We’re here to help you find anything you need. Brienne, we are so pleased to have you aboard the JB.” She took the documents from Loras and looked them over. “It says here you’re reserved for a couple’s cruise.” Margaery looked up at her, expectantly.

Brienne felt her face begin to flame and ground her teeth. She’d _paid_ for this cruise, couple or not. She told the best lie she could think of, “My boyfriend is running late. He’s always late. I wouldn’t be surprised if he misses the boat.”

Margaery looked at her in surprise, then understanding followed by pity. Brienne felt her fist clench. They last thing she wanted was beautiful woman’s fake sympathy.

Beside her, Loras mumbled, “Boyfriend?” as if in disbelief.

Margaery elbowed him then handed Brienne a another packet of documents. “Here are the directions to your room. You might want to drop off your things then head up to the Honeywine deck to grab a drink before joining in on the departure wave. I’m sure you’ll have a totally awesome time, and hopefully your boyfriend will make the ship.” Margaery smiled so brightly Brienne wondered if her face hurt.

Brienne took the envelope and tried to smile back. “It’s all right if he doesn’t make it.” Suddenly, her idea of arriving early as a chance to mingle with the other passengers felt stupid. All she wanted was to settle into her room, change out of her traveling suit and take a long, hot bath.

“ _For sure,_ ” Loras drew out the words.

She turned to go.

The head purser gave her a fake cheerful smile before asking, “How will we know your _boyfriend_ if he does arrive?”

Brienne looked back and narrowed her eyes at the man. He was clearly mocking her. She had nothing to lose with her answer since no one would be joining her. She awkwardly flipped her hair like she’d seen on those television commercials and smiled at him. “Oh, that’s easy, he’s the best looking man you’ve ever seen.” And with that rare parting shot, she stalked off to find her cabin, not even bothering to check the dubious expressions of the crew.

 

一

 

Jaime Lannister was running late. He ducked around the dockhand as the man started to close the entrance gate. Jaime shimmied inside just before it shut. This boat _couldn’t_ sail without him.

The trip had been a last minute decision. Tyrion had found a ticket from a classified advertisement in a newspaper. Some man had booked a romantic cruise only to break up with his girlfriend and was selling the cruise package. Tyrion had convinced Jaime that it was best to get away for a week.

Cersei, Jaime’s beast of a step-sister and ex-secret girlfriend, had just announced her engagement to Robert ‘Bitchin’ Bobby B’ Baratheon. She expected Jaime to continue their relationship, even to give up his job at Casterly Rock to work for Robert just so they could be together. _Together._  As if they’d _ever_ been together. Cersei had always insisted they should hide their relationship, no matter that they weren’t actually related.

Jaime had always done as she’d asked. _No more,_ he thought to himself. He had finally seen Cersei as she truly was, a cold-blooded ball buster, always taking more than she gave. He was done with her. She might be the most beautiful woman in the world on the outside, but she was nothing more than a gold-digging bitch disguised by blue eyeshadow and blood-red lipstick.

As Jaime rushed up the gangplank, dodging yet another closing gate, he cursed the asshole who’d sold him the ticket. The man had been late to their meeting spot. Jaime had grabbed the boarding packet and passed over the money, not even letting the man speak a word. Jaime wanted to get to the cabin and change out of the crimson leisure suit and gold metallic shirt that reminded him of Cersei. It was time to shed that part of his life. Maybe he’d even find a shipboard romance, a cool chick to help him forget Cersei.

Jaime was the last to board the ship, but there was still one couple in front of him, apparently unable to take their hands off each other long enough to receive their room assignments. _Assignment._ Eventually one of the crew members tapped them on the shoulder.

“Mr. and Mrs. Rayder. Here is your cabin number, key and couple’s activity packet. We hope you have a wonderful time.”

“We won’t be needing this,” the man shoved the packet into the captain’s hands. “Dalla and I plan to spend the entire cruise in our room. Come on babe, let’s blow this scene.”

The woman, Dalla, tossed her hair and attached herself to the man’s side as they made their way to their cabin.

Jaime greeted the now harried captain, who mumbled something about welcomes and blowjobs. He glanced at the purser who looked like a low-rent version of himself before handing his boarding documents to the sly woman standing between the two. She took them with a seductive smile, looked them over,and then nudged the purser who looked at them as well. The two, obviously related, looked at each other, engaging in that silent communication of siblings.  

Jaime raised a brow, “Is there some problem?” _Gods, did that fucking asshole sell him a fake boarding pass and ticket?_

The woman smiled brightly. “Oh no, no Mr. Hunt. We knew to expect you late. So glad you made it. I’m sure you’ll have a rad and romantic cruise. I’m Margaery, your cruise director, and this is my brother, Loras, the head purser. Please feel free to ask us for _anything_ you need.”

Jaime had to clear up the name issue. He wasn’t about to go around answering to the name _Hyle Hunt_ all week. He snorted derisively. “My name isn’t Hunt. It’s Lannister. Jaime Lannister. My travel agent booked the room and put down his own name like an idiot.” He paused and waited. The siblings were exchanging looks again. “Can I get directions to my room now? I want this _rad_ and _romantic_ cruise to get started.”

That spurred them into action. The cruise director handed him a packet and gave him directions to his room. Gods, at this point, he just wanted to drop off his bags and get a drink, change of clothes be damned. As he headed off he heard the purser whisper, “Hubba hubba. He _is_ the best looking man I’ve ever seen.”


	2. We're Expecting You

Brienne soaked in a near overflowing bubble bath, not thinking about Hyle or romance, or even the extra luggage that had been left in her room. The hot steaming water soothed the ache in her muscles and cleared her head. She congratulated herself on the parting shot to the obnoxious head purser. She was never that quick-witted. Now she could just say that her boyfriend must have missed the ship. That was much less embarrassing than having to explain that she’d been dumped.

She stretched out her legs, lifted her arms and then dunked her head beneath the water.

一

Jaime entered his stateroom and looked around, noting his luggage was already in the closet. At least that had been done on time. Jaime sniffed. The room smelled faintly of honeysuckle. He shrugged. It was supposed to be a couples room and the bed certainly looked big enough for two. He slipped off his jacket, put his key in his pocket and headed for the bar.

一

Brienne sat up in the bath, suddenly alert. _Had someone just been in the room?_

“Hello,” she called out tentatively.

No answer.

She shrugged as she leaned back to soak a bit longer. The purser must have realized the mistake with the bags and come to get them.

一

Jaime found an empty seat at the bar. The Sunhouse Deck was already filled with people in the pool, lounging in the sun, celebrating the start of their cruise. Jaime eyed an elderly couple, the man pulling out a chair for his wife, she looking up at him with a smile. He turned away and signaled the bartender. “Can I get a beer?”

The thin-faced, sandy-haired bartender grinned, “Sure thing. One beer coming up.” He grabbed a glass and flipped the tap. “I’m Willas. Is this your first cruise?”

Jaime nodded and took a long pull of his beer. A blonde woman with thick feathered hair slipped onto the stool beside him, wearing a bikini and a coverup, neither of which covered much. She ran her perfectly manicured nail along his forearm. “It’s not _my_ first cruise. I’m Victaria. My cousins own this cruise line.” She looked at Willas who rolled his eyes. “Give me a Sarnori Sling.”

Willas slid the drink in front of her, a grody-looking fruity concoction topped with a bright pink umbrella.

She leaned into him and Jaime almost choked on the scent of her Egen Liddle Youth Dew. _Cersei’s favorite._ Jaime drew back.

Victaria took a sip of her drink, uncrossed and re-crossed her legs before eyeing him like a slab of beef. She licked her lips. “I’ll be happy to give you the skinny. You can have so much _fun_ on a cruise.” She half-closed her eyes in a manner she probably thought was sexy, but Jaime found raunchy. “It all depends on the people you meet, sugar.” She put her hand on his thigh.

Jaime had thought he was up for a shipboard romance, but he wasn’t. He was stuck on this ship full of broads with groping hands wearing cloying cologne. He took another drink of his beer and set it down. He gently lifted her hand by the wrist and placed it back on her own lap. He told the best lie he could think of, “Sorry to disappoint, babe, but I have a girlfriend.” He rose to head back to his room. At this rate, he’d be spending most of his time there, hiding. He nodded at Willas and walked away.

As he descended to the Brightwater Deck and turned down the passageway to his cabin, he caught the scent of cologne again. He turned to look. The woman was following him. He gave her a vague smile and hoped that she was just heading towards her own room.

Jaime stopped at his stateroom door and inserted the key to let himself in. The woman covered his hand with her manicured claw. “A hunk like you, I’ll swing. Can you dig it?” she asked.

Jaime opened the door, thinking if he could just get inside, he could shut the door in her face.

一

Brienne stood in the bathroom, her hair wrapped in a towel. She looked at her face in the mirror. Freckles, crooked nose, big, ugly mouth, horsey teeth. A face only a mother could love. Not that she even remembered her mother.

She swapped the towel for her blue satin robe and tightened the belt. She’d purchased all of her clothing planning for a romantic cruise with Hyle. Something, _anything_ to bring a spark to their relationship, even if it meant wearing clothes designed for a much more attractive woman.

She took the towel off of her hair and rubbed it dry. Thin, straw-like, short. She was who she was and no amount of gazing in the mirror would change that.

She heard the cabin door open and exited the bathroom. She noticed a red blazer slung over the arm of a chair. She turned towards the door.

一

Jaime entered the cabin with the vampy Victaria right on his heels. “I’m sorry,” he said. “We’re exclusive.” He turned to block Victaria from entering the room.

Victaria was staring over his shoulder. “It looks to me like your old lady is ready to play.”

Jaime turned to find the tallest, ugliest woman he had ever seen standing in his room wearing nothing but a blue bathrobe and staring at him with the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

“ _Old lady_?” the ugly woman gurgled.

Jaime grinned at the tall chick who was about to become his savior. He released the door and went to her, slipping his arm around her waist and bussing a kiss across her cheek. Her face flamed, and he grinned at her.

“Yes, this is my girlfriend. As you can see, we’re quite attached to one another.” He tried to pull the woman closer. She tripped over her own feet and caught herself with a large, damp palm pressed against his chest.

“Well, Jaime,” Victaria went on looking them both up and down, “and _girlfriend_ , if you change your mind, my room is on the Kingsgrave Deck.”

The blue-eyed woman opened her mouth to speak and Jaime smacked a kiss across her lips as Victaria exited the room. He drew back and looked at her, becoming aware of the press of her body against his, the heat of her through the thin robe, the smell of her skin. He was just about to let her go when he heard the distinctly male sound of a clearing throat.

一

Brienne had no idea how she’d found herself in the arms of a green-eyed god. She couldn’t even _think_ about the fact that he’d kissed her.

A throat cleared again and Brienne turned towards the door, the man, _Jaime’s_ , arm still around her waist. There was the smug head purser, Loras, in the open doorway. Of course it was Loras. It could have been any purser on the entire ship, but it had to the the one who’d looked at her with near disgust in his eyes.

“Excuse me, Ms. Tarth, Brienne, but you’d called about some extra luggage being delivered to your room?” Loras said. “I do see your _boyfriend_ was lucky enough to have made the ship on time. Aren’t you glad we didn’t leave without him?” The purser looked at Jaime questioningly.

Well, the man _had_ kissed her and introduced her as his girlfriend. She could do the same. Face flaming with the lie, she forced a smile at Loras and replied, “Yes, lucky that Jaime made it on time.”

Jaime grinned and squeezed her waist. “That’s my girl.” He turned to Loras, “Sorry to bother you. Brienne just got confused about my new luggage. Right, Bunny?”

She nodded, feeling stupid, trapped, confused and slightly turned on. _Oh gods, what was she getting herself into?_

“We don’t need you after all. In fact,” Jaime pulled her even closer, “we were hoping for a little _alone_ time.” His look to Loras was challenging, and Brienne couldn’t help feeling a slight thrill of victory over the snotty purser.

“Well, yes, I’ll leave you to...it.” Loras dropped a folder on the table by the door. “I brought along the details of your _couples_ package. I’m sure you’ll want to enjoy all the _romantic_ activities.” And with a dismissive flick of his head, left the room, the stateroom door closing behind him.

Brienne pulled away from the gorgeous man.

They spoke in unison, “Who the hells are you?”


	3. Set a Course for Adventure

Brienne had insisted on changing into actual clothes before talking to this “Jaime” who had insisted this was _his_ cabin. It had given her a moment to collect herself and to process the events of the last ten minutes. That kiss from a handsome stranger had given her more of a thrill than a hundred kisses from Hyle.

Now she sat on one of the lounge chairs while _Jaime_ sprawled on the bed. He told her how Hyle had sold him a last-minute ticket on the cruise, failing to explain it was for one half of a couples’ cruise.

She was shaking with rage. _How dare Hyle do this to her?_ She thought of the phone calls she’d failed to return and ran her fingers through her hair. Yes, she hadn’t taken his calls, but he could have sent her a note. Instead he’d sold his ticket to a stranger, not even caring that Brienne might be forced to share the room with him. And sharing a room with this man would be a nightmare, no matter how good a kisser he was.

So far _Jaime_  had insulted her hair, her clothes, asked if she were really a woman, complimented her eyes, tried to guess her weight, insinuated Hyle had dumped her because she wouldn’t ‘put out’ and told her that _she_ was a fantastic kisser. She shoved that thought from her head.

“Look, we are going to have to just tell them the truth, and one of us is going to have to move to a new cabin,” she stated.

Jaime pulled a pack of Juicy Fruit from the pocket of his obscenely tight leisure suit trousers. The sheen of his gold shirt matched the sheen of his feathered hair which just brushed his collar. She wondered if it curled as it grew longer. Brienne declined his offer of gum.

He shook his head and unwrapped his gum, seeming to enjoy that first chew a bit too much. “No can do, Bunny. There aren’t any other available cabins on the ship. That’s why I had to get this one from your old man.”

Brienne huffed and crossed her arms. “He is not my _old man_ and I am not anyone’s ‘bunny.’” She began to have a sinking feeling that he was right. There probably were no other available cabins on the ship. She ran through their other options. Most of them included one form of humiliation or the other, usually involving the smirky purser discovering the lie and Brienne spending the cruise in a linen closet.

Jaime smirked. “Well, I think for the duration of this trip, at least, you’re going to need to be _my_ bunny.”

一

Jaime looked at the ridiculously tall, remarkably ugly blonde chick sitting in the chair looking more uptight than he’d ever imagined a person could. People were supposed to go on cruises to have a good time. Brienne looked like she’d rather be anywhere else. She needed to mellow out. Still, considering her boyfriend had jerked her over, she was taking it pretty well.

He leaned back against the wall, crossed one ankle over the other, and locked his fingers behind his head. There was really only one solution to their problem. She just needed a few minutes to come around to it. He blew a bubble and popped it, using his teeth to scrape the now sticky gum from his lower lip. She glared at him. He remembered the feel of her lips…

“So you’re saying we should fake being a couple?” she asked.

He thought he’d made that clear. She hadn’t seemed like an airhead when he’d explained it. He certainly didn’t want to be chased by the likes of Vampy Victaria and for some reason of her own, Brienne had told the jerkface purser that they were a couple. They were already good to go.

He nodded. “Look. It’ll be cake. We make a few appearances on deck, sit next to each other at dinner. Save each other from the swingers wanting to play.” Not that many would be interested in the likes of her. “It’s casual.” He added, trying to reassure her.

She ran her fingers through her now-frizzy hair. She flapped one large mitt at him. “And what about that?”

He looked down at his legs and feet. Did she hate his suit? _He_ kind of hated his suit. He pushed that thought away. “About what?”

Ugly red splotches bloomed on her neck and made their way up her face forming a perfect red V on her forehead. “The _bed,_ ” she hissed.

He grinned and stretched out. “It’s a king. And you might be twice the size of most chicks, but I think we can both fit.”

For a moment, he thought she might launch herself out of the chair and punch him. Then she seemed to think better of it. She leaned her head back, looking up at the ceiling. “We will do dinner together. One cruise activity per day together, and I will create a wall of pillows in the middle of the bed and you will _stay on your side._ ” She said the last four words a little too emphatically for his liking. As if he were going to jump her bones.

Well, he had kissed her. But that had been a desperate impulse. No matter that it was a really _good_ kiss.

He sat up, scooted to the edge of the bed. “We save each other from the other singles on the cruise, but otherwise leave each other alone.” He held out his hand. “Gimme some skin?”

She looked at his hand as if it were a hook before clasping it in her own large warm one. She sighed, “Deal.”

一

At Jaime’s suggestion, they decided to grab burgers in Wyl Cove, the casual bar, rather than join the rest of the passengers in the formal dining room. Brienne wondered if he just wanted to avoid being seen with her in public, although she didn’t feel ready for the formal dining room either. She’d brought the couple’s packet with her so they could plan out which activities to do together and which to avoid, although he’d suggested they just ‘be zen’ and ‘go with the flow.’

The bartender, who introduced himself as Willas, came by to take their order. Jaime closed his menu, grabbed hers out of her hand and passed them over. “We’ll have cheeseburgers, medium, with everything, bacon potato salad, extra slices of tomato on the side,” he paused and looked over at Brienne. “I’ll have a Lyseni Sunrise and Bunny here will have the champagne punch. And the pound cake for dessert.”

Willas nodded and was away before Brienne could even speak. “What was _that_? I can order for myself, thank you Mister.”

“What? Didn’t you like what I ordered?” he asked as Willas sat down their drinks, his mixed and fruity, hers looking like something from a child’s birthday party.

What he’d ordered _was_ almost exactly what she wanted. She loved pound cake. In protest, she switched her drink with his and took a big sip, trying not to choke on the strength of it.

Jaime grinned, and as Willas brought their dinners, he sent the champagne punch away and ordered two more Sunrises.

Brienne was not about to be intimidated. She wasn’t the best of drinkers, but she could handle two drinks.

As they ate, they went over the options for activities. The burger and potato salad were delicious, damn him. She salted her tomato slices lightly and cut a bite. They were perfect, too. It made her unreasonably irritated.

“You think I’m fat?” the auburn-haired woman at the next table screeched.

The man responded, “I never said that. I said you could have the zucchini bread instead of the butterscotch brownie.”

The woman stood up, shouted, “Go suck an egg, Mance,” before she threw her drink in his face.

Brienne could only stare, the chunk of tomato hanging from her fork. The man turned to them, drying his face with a napkin. He shrugged. “Women. Can’t live without ‘em. Can’t abandon ‘em in the Land of Always Winter.”

Jaime lifted his glass and tilted it Mance’s direction before throwing his other arm around Brienne’s shoulders.

No matter that she’d wanted to punch Jaime not thirty minutes ago, she couldn’t imagine ever behaving like that in public. Even with _Hyle._  Although throwing a drink in his face would have been satisfying. She took another sip of her own, then stared at the glass.

Jaime squeezed her arm. “Thinking about it...Bunny?”

Brienne gripped her glass. “Thinking I want to get to bed.”

He raised a brow at her and her face flamed. “To sleep,” she added, with emphasis.

Later, as Brienne lay on her side of the bed, she was almost certain she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. It was difficult enough sleeping with Hyle, who snored and sometimes kicked in his sleep. How could she expect to sleep next to a stranger?

Although Jaime had rolled his eyes and called her a square, he’d helped her create the wall of pillows in the center of the bed. Then he’d washed up, stripped down to his jockey shorts, climbed into his side of the bed and promptly fallen asleep. There was just no way she was going to be able to do the same that easily.


	4. Something For Everyone

The very next thing Brienne knew, she was halfway underneath a mound of pillows with her hand on Jaime Lannister’s warm, bare chest. She jerked away and slipped out of bed before he caught her. She had intended to stay on her side of the bed. She must have gotten cold in the night.

She looked over the cruise packet they had reviewed last night. Their activity of the day was something called a _Pirate Adventure_. That couldn’t be too terribly romantic, could it?

一

Jaime put his hand on the small of Brienne’s back and felt her already stiff spine grow even more rigid.

The purser was handing out the costumes. Jaime got a captain’s costume and Brienne was handed a fluffy pink dress, all gauzy material and flounces with a weird fur collar. The chump purser had apologized, saying it was the only thing they had in Brienne’s size.

Garlan Tyrell, the activities director,  clapped his hands. “All right, do I have your attention? Okay, okay! Now this is the Pirate Adventure so anyone signed up for the Wine Tasting, that’s one deck below.”

Jaime snorted at this lame joke until he saw one couple drop their costumes and head towards the stairs. “Idiots,” he mumbled. Brienne elbowed him in the stomach.

“Now our lovely ladies will be the damsels, and the gentlemen will play their rescuers. I, my brother Loras, and a few of the other crew members will play the pirates. You’ll know the pirates because we will be dressed all in black. The pirates are holding the damsels hostage and the rescuers will need to make a plan of attack to save their damsels.”

The couples around them murmured.

Brienne interrupted. “What if the ladies are able to rescue themselves?” She fisted the pink dress in her hands.

The other participants snickered. That would never do. No one snickered at a Lannister. Even a Lannister’s fake girlfriend. And only _he_ was allowed to rile her up.

Jaime spoke up, “Yes, my _girlfriend_ is quite capable.” He heard the purser snort and leveled the Lannister gaze on the man. “In fact, I think we’d like it very much if she took part in the rescue.”

Loras protested. “Then we’ll have more rescuers than damsels. Unless you want to wear the dress?” he asked Jaime and batted his eyelashes.

Jaime tightened his grip on Brienne and smiled slowly. “Why, no. But I’ll be one of the pirates since I’m sure _you_ ,” he looked Loras up and down in his pirate costume, “will be easily dispatched.”

Garlan seemed to consider the matter settled, and in less than ten minutes, Jaime found himself decked out all in black, gathered with the pirate crew. He caught a glimpse of Brienne as she exited her changing room. The pants they’d found for her were snug and stopped at the knee, but she looked far better in them than she would have in the pink monstrosity.

一

Brienne thoroughly enjoyed her _pretend_ sword fight with Loras. Certainly, he was meant to lose, but he was supposed to make it look good as well. She never gave him the chance. She took out him and two of the other ‘pirates’ and then looked around. The other rescuers were untying their ‘damsels’ and, to her fury, making out right there on the deck of the ship. The bickering couple from last night had been playing tonsil hockey since the moment they'd been within reaching distance of one another.

Brienne was angry. She was angry that they’d tried to put her in a pink dress, angry that the pirate adventure was really nothing more than a chance for couples to act like they were on the cover of a cheap romance novel, angry that Jaime had jumped to her defense before she could actually tell Activities Director Garlan where he could shove his setup. She hefted her plastic sword in her hand. She wanted to hit someone.

“Well, Bunny,” a now familiar voice said from behind her, “did you enjoy the big rescue?”

She turned on him and glared. _Gods_ , he was a stone cold fox in that pirate outfit, the pants clinging to his muscular thighs, the shirt unbuttoned almost to his navel, exposing his golden muscled chest, lightly covered with hair. How dare he look so amazing when she looked just this side of ridiculous in the loose seaman’s shirt and tight sailor pants. She knocked her sword against his. “It seems there’s still a pirate on deck.”

He grinned at her ferally. “You’re not serious?”

She eased back into the stance she’d learned from those two fencing classes she’d taken at the Young Women’s Seven Association in high school. “Why wouldn’t I be _serious?_ ” Tapping him on the chest with the point of her plastic sword.

He braced his sword against hers. “Because you’re a _woman,_ of course.” He looked her up and down, “And you definitely _are_ a woman.”

She ground her teeth. “As if there’s something wrong with being a woman?” She pushed at his sword, pressing it to one side.

Jaime threw back his head and laughed, exposing his gorgeous, smooth throat, the muscles in his chest contracting and expanding. “I should have known. You’re one of those _women’s libbers,_ aren’t you?”

Brienne felt her blood begin to boil. “We should all be for equal rights for women. But men like _you_ ,” _Hyle_ , she thought, “treat women as if they are lesser beings.”

He flicked his sword at the other rescuers and pirates. “ _Those_ are lesser beings, Bunny.”

“I am not a _bunny_ ,” she ground out and lunged at him.

He knocked her sword to the side and advanced.

She ducked to avoid his blow and made a tactical retreat. He pulled his sword in and winked at her. “Of course you’re not _a_ bunny. You’re _my_ bunny.” With a quick move, he slashed at her thigh landing a blow.

Brienne saw red and with a pivot and a thrust, began to fight in earnest. He was good, better than she thought he’d be, but she was stronger. He was faster, but she could outlast him. She was sure of it.

She didn’t know how long they’d been on the deck, kicking the chairs and discarded pieces of costume out of the way. She was sweating and grunting but she hadn’t felt so good in ages. He was beginning to tire, his parries just a little slower than before, his hits off-target. She was going to beat him. She knew it, and from the look in his eyes, he knew it, too. Suddenly, those eyes filled with...something, mischief perhaps? She readied herself for another attack.

Instead, he dropped his sword, pivoted to one side, ducked under her slash and came up right in front of her, wrapping both arms around her waist, and then he was kissing her. His chest was pressed to hers. She could feel the heat from his body and the expansion of his lungs with each breath. She could even feel the rapid heavy beats of his heart. Or perhaps that was the blood pounding in her ears as his mouth covered hers.

“Yooohooo,” a voice called from behind. Brienne jerked her head around and tried to break Jaime’s grasp, but he _was_ strong. She was only able to turn in his arms.

Captain Mace was standing on the deck, hands clasped behind his back, his shorts pristine, but one knee sock resting slightly higher than the other. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said, “but the staff really does need to clean up the deck for the next activity.” He clapped his hands together. “It’s the hula hoop competition. Did you want to sign up?”

Brienne felt Jaime rest his chin on her shoulder. “Thanks Cap’n, but I think we might just want to head back to our room for some _alone time_. Sorry for holding you up.”

She felt her face flame. Certainly the Captain would think Jaime meant something she knew he did not mean. She turned her head to look at him. He was grinning at her. She scowled at him. “Actually, _dear_ , I was thinking I’d like to go take a nice swim on the Sandstone deck. You can take a nap if you like. I know how tired you get.”

“You in a bikini, Bunny? I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”

She wanted to shout at him that she was most definitely not a _bunny_ and that her name was Brienne.

一

Brienne lay on the deck chair, her nose shoved in a book, very much _not_ looking at Jaime who was on the chair beside her. As she felt the freckles popping out on her skin, she could practically see his tan forming. _Damn him_. The sun was likely putting light golden streaks in his hair as well. All she was doing was sweating. And trying not to burn.

She sat up to reach for her bottle of sunscreen, but before she could get to it, Jaime had it in his hand. He popped open the top and squirted a glob of the coconut-scented lotion into his palm. “Here, let me,” he said, turning her around to rub the sunscreen into her shoulders.

She stopped herself from pulling away from him when she saw Willas, the bartender, and the elderly couple she’d seen boarding the ship, watching them. Willas held up a drink, clearly asking if she wanted one. She held up two fingers. Maybe more alcohol would make this pretend dating easier. The elderly couple waved and she waved back. Jaime was rubbing lotion between her shoulder blades and up her neck, almost into her hair. She shivered. It felt far too good.

She felt his breath on the shell of her ear. “Want me to do your thighs, too?”

一

Jaime looked at Brienne seated across the table in the formal dining room. He had no idea who had convinced her to buy a hot pink dress, but that sales girl should be fired. The cut of it made her shoulders look wide and her waist look thick. Not that her shoulders weren’t actually wide and her waist actually thick. They were. But the dress emphasized all of her worst features. And he was sure she knew it. She’d been tugging at the hem and fidgeting with the straps since they left the cabin.

It wasn’t as if his white tux with the red satin vest and bowtie was helping matters. Cersei had picked it out since she liked to wear red and she liked them to match. Cersei was far away though and he was here with Brienne. Brienne in hot pink. Together they looked like a walking Maiden’s Day display, all pink and red and white. He was going to get rid of this tux once and for all when they got back to their cabin.

Since they were on a couple’s package, there were red and pink carved candles on the table And it was a table for two. Everything was set up for romance, except that his girlfriend, his _fake_ girlfriend, didn’t seem interested. After she nearly broke his hand for offering to rub sunscreen on her legs, Brienne seemed to have decided not to speak to him at all.

She held the menu up to her face so Jaime couldn’t even look at her. He sighed and scanned the choices. Once the waiter had taken their orders and removed their menus, his new fake girlfriend had nowhere to hide. Her eyes flitted over the other diners.

Jaime gave conversation a try, bringing it back to something she’d enjoyed. “So did I bruise you during our sword fight?”

She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, and all he could think about was how it felt to kiss her. Her lips were strong, firm and soft, plush. Unlike Cersei’s. He shook his head and focused again on Brienne.

She shook her head. “Did I bruise _you_?”

The flush on her face said she was lying. He’d landed a pretty solid blow to her thigh. Her thick, strong, muscular thigh. He could lie better though; she had landed a solid blow to his ribs. “Not at all.” He smiled and lifted his wine glass to touch it to hers.

She tapped her glass against his and took a sip, again looking furtively around the dining room. It was at that moment that Jaime saw Victaria approaching from behind Brienne. He reached over and linked her fingers with his, holding tight as she tried to pull away.

“Bunny,” he spoke as the other woman lingered next to their table, “what is on our agenda for tomorrow?” He looked straight at Brienne hoping she would take the hint. He thought she would. She wasn’t a total airhead.

She scowled for a moment and then her eyes landed on Victaria. She twisted her lips into what should have been a smile and answered, “Tomorrow is the shore excursion to historical Pentos.”

Victaria was still eyeing him. He smiled at Brienne. “Pentos it is, Bunny.”

Her pretty blue eyes narrowed as she hissed, “My name is Brienne.”

He gave her a wink.

一

The minute Brienne got inside the cabin, she tugged off the straps of her dress. Hyle had always said that girls looked hot wearing this shade of pink. Brienne most certainly did not look hot. She looked ridiculous and she knew it. The straps were too tight on her shoulders and the skirt too short for her legs. Jaime, on the other hand, was a total hunk in his tux.

He suggested they take a moonlit walk on the deck, but she had to get out of this dress. She suggested he stay in the bar for a drink or two. She needed some space. She thought they both did.

She unzipped the dress, stepped out of it and threw it in the trash before heading into the bathroom.

Before crawling in bed, Brienne built up an even bigger wall of pillows in center. _That should keep him on his own side_ , she thought. Then again, would it even matter? Maybe he’d changed his mind and would pick up one of those pretty, petite women at the bar, not even coming back to their room.

Just then, she heard the door open and Jaime slip quietly inside.

 


	5. Your Mind on a New Romance

Jaime woke from inhaling a mouth full of bed linen. Somehow in the night, he’d migrated to the center of the bed, his arms wrapped around part of the pillow wall. He went to stretch his legs to discover that one foot was trapped between two very strong ankles. _How long exactly were her legs?_

He tossed the two pillows to the floor and propped his head up on one hand to look at Brienne. She was less ugly in her sleep, with her face relaxed, not tightened up in her usual scowl. The skin of her cheeks was pink from the sun and freckled, though he would have sworn from looking at her that she was permanently red. The woman blushed more than anyone he had ever known.

Her one truly pretty feature was hidden with her eyes closed. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Her pale lashes were thick and long, and her eyebrows, though almost white, had that high arch that women seemed to favor.

Her lips were red and full and much softer than he would have expected. He shouldn’t have enjoyed the times he’d kissed her, but her lips felt perfect against his. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as he thought it would be to tilt his head up towards hers. In fact, lying next to her in bed, he didn’t notice the height difference at all. In fact, they would probably fit together nicely. Brienne was his physical equal, unlike Cersei…

He tried not to let his thoughts stray to his step-sister, but failed. He flopped his head back on the pillow. Despite all her promises that she’d cared for him, that he was important to her, he wasn’t. He knew that now. She’d wanted to keep him for herself. A possession. Someone she could control. That’s all he’d ever been to her. And she’d thrown him away, just like he’d thrown away that horrible red leisure suit. It was time he moved on.

The woman beside him in bed stirred. She’d been dumped by an asshole boyfriend and was stuck sharing a cabin with a stranger. What a pair they were. Maybe she was ready to move on, too.

She rolled over, releasing his foot, but without the pillow barrier to stop her, one hand flopped onto his bare chest. He looked down at that hand, large, pale, freckled, the nails short but not bitten. In her sleep, her fingers twirled the hair on his chest, and he felt himself stir. _That_ was unexpected. Maybe they could move on _together_...at least during the cruise. He shook his head, that was Tyrion talking. A one-night stand, even a fling that lasted a week, wasn’t Jaime’s style.

He sat up in bed, sure to jostle her so she’d wake.

As she blinked at him owlishly, her pretty eyes soft and unfocused, he grinned. “Hey Bunny, getting a little handsy in your sleep?”

And there was the scowl he’d come to know. “I am not your _bunny_ ,” she muttered as she sat up in bed.

一

Brienne adjusted the ties of her sunhat and looked over at Jaime, her pretend boyfriend. In the night, the ship had made its way across the Narrow Sea and into the Bay of Pentos, where they had docked. They had decided that their couples activity for the day would be a shore excursion through the city. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Only everything that went right for Jaime seemed to go wrong for her.

He didn’t need a sun hat, or sunscreen even. While she’d covered herself in sun block, with a thick streak of white zinc down her nose, and strapped on a giant hat, his only protection from the rays was a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Just like yesterday by the pool, his skin seemed to tan and glow right before her eyes while she could feel herself sweating and burning in the heat.

Jaime insisted they hold hands as they wandered through the stalls of the spice market. The rich smells of amchoor, sumac and saffron made her sneeze, while Jaime made friends with every vendor. Although Brienne had taken three years of Valyrian in school, Jaime was the one who picked up the rhythm and speech patterns with ease.

No matter how awkward Brienne felt and looked, Jaime refused to leave her side. He didn’t laugh at her discomfort, but instead made sure to always walk on the shaded side of the street, buying her a packet of tissues and translating for her when she wanted to buy a few souvenirs.

Not that Brienne enjoyed shopping; she most certainly didn’t. When she’d suggested it, Jaime was just as happy to leave the marketplace and take a rickshaw to the Sunrise Gate, listening to the songs of the tradesmen along the way as he had been to wander the marketplace.

Brienne was somehow not surprised that he was just as interested in the history of Old Pentos as she was, from a stop at the manse of the famed Khal Drogo to a walking tour of the Palaces of the Princes. Jaime had teased her with the stories of the Princes’ deflowering of the maidens, suggesting Brienne would be the Maiden of the Sea.

In fact, Jaime was a total history buff, as was she, and they’d ended up arguing about ancient battle techniques over lunch in one of the sidewalk cafes.

As they made their way back to the ship, one of the street vendors called out, “Skoro syt issi ao lēda such iā ugly ābra?”

Brienne expected him to translate, but instead Jaime’s fingers tightened on hers and he looked straight ahead, preparing to walk right past the stall.

“Kostan gaomagon sȳrkta syt iā gevie vala hae ao,” the woman continued.

Brienne, now filled with good vibes, smiled at the woman, ready to have a look at her wares.

Jaime tugged her hand to pull her away. Brienne glared at him and picked up one of the trinkets the woman was selling.

“Nyke laodigon bisa vala hen ao. Nyke tepagon zirȳla olvie kirimves,” the woman said with a wide smile.

Brienne turned to Jaime, holding out the Pentoshi circlet. “Did she say it was a bracelet of joy? What do you think?”

“Ao gūrogon sȳrkta than iā nuspes syt iā ābrazȳrys,” the woman said to Jaime, likely bartering with him on the price.

Jaime glared at the woman, then without any warning at all, planted his lips on Brienne’s and laid a kiss on her that absolutely curled her toes.

一

As he dressed for dinner that night, tying his new blue bowtie, Jaime thought about his day on shore with Brienne. She was funny. And smart. Especially when she let herself go and stopped worrying about what people were thinking.

She’d practically taken his head off when he’d argued that Westerlands longbowmen using weapons made of dragonbone would have taken down the archers of Xhanda Qo using bows made of goldenheart. They’d been in full bicker when he’d grinned at her and proudly announced, “I hate archers anyway.”

Her lips had twisted and worked as she fought off one of her big, horsey smiles and replied that she did, too. That led to a hour-long discussion about the best historic swords in Westeros as they ate exotic Essoi fruit and real Pentoshi food, so different from the takeout available in King’s Landing.

It had been a good day. He couldn’t remember having such a good day since...well, he couldn’t remember one ever.

He hadn’t intended to kiss her, not with the zinc smeared on her nose and the flavor of Pentoshi pulusu on her lips. He’d told her that he’d spotted one of the Tyrells and just wanted to make it look good. The truth was he was hacked off by the street vendor’s cruel words. Brienne might not be the prettiest woman in the world, but her eyes were fantastic and she was...well. Brienne was _nice_. Not in the bland meaningless way. She was kind and smart and damn funny and so cute when he could rile her up, and the way she kissed...

He shook the thoughts from his head as Brienne opened the bathroom door. She emerged wearing blue satin pants and a vest, with no shirt underneath. It was so much better than the ridiculous hot pink dress. This outfit emphasized the length of her legs and paleness of her skin.

He grinned at her and let out a low wolf whistle. “Oh Bunny. Blue is a good color on you. It goes well with your eyes.”

She rolled those very eyes at him and muttered, “Shut up.”

一

At dinner they were seated with two other couples, which made Brienne both relieved and anxious. She didn’t necessarily want to be stuck at a romantic table for two with Jaime again, but being around other couples meant that they’d have to pretend they were really together.

Jaime had pulled out her chair when they sat down, smoothly introducing them to the other couples, Jyana and Howland Reed, an elderly couple from Greywater that she’d seen around the ship, and Dalla and Mance Raydar, married just two years, who seemed to alternate between fighting and well...the complete opposite of fighting. Both options were uncomfortable.

The Reeds, however, were charming, finishing each other’s sentences and holding hands. Jaime talked his way through the dinner, telling story after story about ‘their’ romance, from how they first met when he’d gotten caught in a direwolf cage at the zoo, to how they’d fallen in love while backpacking across the Riverlands. He made it sound all so plausible and as if they’d had so much fun. Brienne only wished it were true.

“And when are you two young people getting married?” Jyana asked with a twinkle in her eye as they waited for dessert to be served.

“Marriage,” Mance grumbled as Dalla reapplied her lipstick in the reflection from her butter knife.

“Now, Jya,” Howland said while patting her hand, “no need to pressure the young people.”

Jyana sighed, “Well, Howlie, if Meera and her boyfriend Bran would just get married…” her voice trailed off. She turned back to Jaime and Brienne. “Those two are _living together_. And _not married,_ ” she said.

“I refused to live with Mance until after we got married. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? Right?” Dalla chimed in.

“Stupid cow,” Mance muttered under his breath.

Howland looked at him with disapproval before digging into his ambrosia salad, and responding, “It’s not that they _live_ together that’s the problem. It’s that they are living together in a _treehouse_.”

Brienne choked on the overly sweet pineapple orange trifle.

“Treehouse?” Jaime asked, looking at Brienne from the corner of his eye. She could feel herself wanting to laugh. The Reeds had been fun, telling stories of their children, but they did tend to exaggerate. She was sure their house hadn’t shifted thirty feet north, that they didn’t really raise stewing frogs when they’d first gotten married and that their son, Jojen, wasn’t a world famous medium.

Jyana nodded. “They’ve been living in an old heart tree. Umber Lumber wants to cut it down for the timber. Bran and Meera fell in love under that tree. They think it should be protected.”

Howland clarified, “They are environmentalists.”

“Sounds just mental to me,” Dalla commented.

“I think as it’s a heart tree, they should just be able to get married while up there, since we are Old Goddists, but Bran’s mother worships the Seven and _she_ says they can’t get married without a septon.” Howland sighed.

“And we can’t find a septon to climb up the tree,” Jyana finished for her husband. “But what about you two? When are you planning to tie the knot?” Jyana came back to her original question, looking right at Brienne.

“Run while you can,” Mance whispered.

“Uhh...well,” Brienne didn’t want to lie to the sweet woman. She could feel the red flush creeping over her skin.

“Stop embarrassing them, love,” Howland saved her. He winked at Jaime. “If Jaime here has a ring in his pocket, ready to pop the question, you’re spoiling the surprise.”

Jaime linked his fingers with Brienne’s and grinned. “Well, Bunny, you never know.” He kissed the tips of her fingers.

Dalla leaned in, “Make sure you get a big brand new rock and not some dinky thing he _claims_ was his great grandmother’s.”

一

Jaime kept his arm around Brienne’s waist as they descended onto the Brightwater deck, heading back towards their cabin.

“I can’t believe you told them we competed against each other in boxing,” Brienne admonished. She really was too _good_ for her own good. “And that story about the bear pit?” She shook her head. “How can you make up stories like that? Just without even thinking?”

He unlocked the door to their room and held the door for her. “Come on, admit it. You had fun.”

“Telling people lies isn’t fun,” she declared.

He raised his brows at her. She’d had fun. She knew it. He knew it and she knew he knew. She was fighting a smile. “Come on, Bunny, loosen up.”

“I am plenty _loose_ ,” she said with a pleasant little huff.

He raised a brow at her. “Are you now?” he asked, giving her the dirtiest look he could.

Her face flamed as she realized what she’d said. She ducked into the bathroom.

After he finished washing up and brushing his teeth, he exited the bath to find the room lit only by the moonlight shining through the porthole, glinting off her pale hair. He looked at her. In this light she could almost…

He didn’t finish the thought as he crawled in bed on his side of the slightly smaller pillow wall.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The seller basically calls Brienne an ugly cow and says Jaime could do better, that he should dump Brienne for her. I ran some nasty comments through the English to Valyrian translator.


	6. Making Another Run

Brienne woke with Jaime Lannister’s arm wrapped around her waist and his hand splayed over her stomach. She spent more than a moment enjoying the warmth of it. Their day in Pentos had been near magical, and dinner last night...well, she almost felt like they were an actual couple. Spending time with Jaime wasn’t a chore, not like when she spent time with Hyle. Sure, he was opinionated, annoying, and too good-looking for words, but he managed to make things fun. Unlike Hyle, Jaime never made her feel bad about herself, and she didn’t have to worry about bruising Jaime’s, somewhat massive, ego.

She sighed, and his hand shifted, pulling her back towards him, crushing the pillows between them. If only he weren’t so totally hot. Certainly he was fine being seen with her _here_ , on the cruise, but back in King’s Landing? The real world? A guy who looked like he did wouldn’t be caught dead out in public with a girl like her. Jaime said he didn’t want to be chased by women on the cruise, probably because he knew he could have the pick of them. It was just a matter of time before he decided he didn’t need a fake girlfriend after all.

With that thought, she rolled out of bed to get ready for the day ahead.

一

Jaime felt Brienne slip out of bed. He had kind of been hoping that she’d kick the rest of the great wall of pillows to the floor and he could enjoy a full on skin-to-nightie cuddle with her. The more time he spent with Brienne, the more he dug her.

He liked her even more as they prepared to take their turn parasailing in Pentos Bay. The speed boat held four couples, including Mance and Dalla, who seemed to alternate between between ripping each other’s throats out and shoving their tongues down each other’s throats.

Jaime and Brienne had lingered over breakfast; there was no denying it, the woman could _eat._ Now, and having been the last to arrive, they were the last to take their turn. Dalla and Mance seemed to have had a good time, kissing while they were in the air, but when her harness caught on her top as she unhooked it, Mance accused her of flashing the other men, and they were once again fighting.

Jaime tilted his head towards them and raised a brow at Brienne. She rolled her big blue eyes. “I can help you with that harness, Bunny, so it doesn’t catch and you don’t end up losing your top?” he offered with a grin.

She glared at him and snapped her harness on like a pro. “Got it,” she growled.

Once the chute expanded and they were up in the air together, her anger faded and all she did was grin. Jaime let out a cheer.

“Let’s see what this thing can do,” he shouted over the wind. She nodded. They worked perfectly together, shifting their weight to dip and swoop through the air. It was like riding a dragon.

It was all too soon that the crew began towing them back. Jaime looked down as they neared the boat and noticed that Mance and Dalla were back to making out. He felt a little jealous.

Brienne’s long legs touched the boat first and she absorbed the initial impact with ease. Damn she was strong. She let out a delighted whoop. He grinned at her. Maybe this could be something between them. Maybe it didn’t just have to be a fake relationship.

“Good job, you two,” Garlan said. “You were fantastic! Best couple out there today.”

“We were pretty fantastic,” Brienne agreed, her big face chapped from the wind and likely sunburned as well. And then much to Jaime’s surprise, she leaned in and kissed him.

—

Brienne’s skin was red from the sun, red from the wind, and red from the mortification she had felt after kissing Jaime. Sure, they had shared a few kisses before but that was just part of their cover as a fake couple. And Jaime had always initiated it.

When she’d kissed him on the boat, he’d drawn back a little. She’d felt it. _Oh gods,_ she could lie to herself all she liked, but the real reason she’d kissed him was because she was starting to fall for him. And that would never do.

When she’d told him she wanted to have dinner in the Cove Bar rather than the main dining room, he’d told her that suited him fine. And followed her there. She looked up from her menu at the waiter unwilling to let Jaime order for her this time. “I’ll have the Braavosi burger with double cheese and auroch’s bacon, an order of Oxcross potatoes with extra ketchup,” she started to close her menu and reconsidered. “And a side of onion rings. Oh and a chocolate shake. Extra thick.”

Jaime handed over his menu, grinned and said, “Make it two.”

She avoided his eye and looked away, twisting to turn her shoulder towards Jaime. She took a sip of the Moat Cailin Mule Willas had set before her. She looked at the other diners; she looked at the fishing nets nailed to the walls; she looked at the decorative plastic fish which seemed to be staring at her. She looked everywhere but at Jaime. She wished the Reeds or the Rayders were around as a distraction. Even Captain Mace with his yooohoo, ridiculous facial hair and knee socks would be welcome.

“Are you regretting it?” Jaime said from beside her with edge in his voice.

Startled, she jumped. “Regretting what?” She looked at him to note an unfamiliar hardness in his eyes. She looked down.

“This,” he waved a hand between them. “Us.”

“There is no _us,_ ” Brienne responded. She waited for him to speak again, and when he didn’t she looked up to find him staring at her. He almost looked...hurt.

“So that’s it then?”

“What’s it?” she asked, confused. She was giving him an out. Why would be be upset?

“This is just shipboard pretend?” he asked.

Brienne wrinkled her brow. “Of course it’s shipboard pretend. That’s what we agreed, isn’t it?”

He glared at her.

He was probably angry that she’d kissed him. She tried to explain. “Look, about today, on the boat. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It was just a spur of the moment thing. Mance and Dalla were all over each other and I thought it would look weird if we didn’t at least kiss or something. It didn’t mean anything.” It was a lie, but she hoped he’d believe it.

Something odd passed over his face. “Didn’t mean anything?” he repeated as Willas brought their food.

一

Jaime sat at the Silverhill bar drinking his fourth Lorathi Sunrise. “Women,” he said with disgust in his voice.

Willas wiped down the bar in front of him. “Problems?” he asked, throwing the towel over his shoulder.

“You’re never enough for them, right? And they lie. It’s all a big game to them. Pulling you in, pushing you away. Telling you that you’re one soul in two bodies, then getting engaged to some other guy,” he groused. “Can’t trust any of them.” He pointed his unsteady finger. “Especially the ones who kiss you and don’t mean it.”

The bartender leaned his elbows on the bar. “I don’t know, Brienne seems pretty nice?”

Jaime reared back. “Brienne is definitely _not_ pretty. Her skin it too white and too freckly and you know those freckles go _all over_. And she’s too tall. Taller than me even. Her lips are too big and too soft and too strong and lips that ugly shouldn’t kiss that good. Don’t even get me started on her eyes. They don’t even belong in her face. They aren’t just pretty, they’re the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Willas grinned. “Why don’t you get back to your room and tell her that?”

It wasn’t more than a few moments later that Jaime found himself lurching his way towards his cabin, towards Brienne. He stopped, leaned against a door and waited for the sea to calm down. The ship seemed to be moving right from under his feet. It was making him unsteady and confused. He was just about to walk the rest of the way down the hallway when one of the cabin doors opened and Victaria stepped out, adjusting her caftan. She caught sight of him and smiled.

“Why Jaime Lannister, you gorgeous hunk of man, are you lost?”

He wasn’t lost. Brienne was in the cabin just a few doors down. He was certain. Or was he on the wrong floor? “I’m not lost,” he responded.

She looked at him slyly. “Or were you looking for me?” she asked, taking his arm and leading him further down the hallway.

He tried to extricate himself, but she clung to him. “No. Need to find Brienne.”

“Well, sugar, here’s your room right here,” she said, taking his key from him and unlocking his door, opening it slightly. “I’m so glad we found each other tonight, Jaime.”

“Sure, me too,” he said. Anything to get rid of her. He wanted to talk to Brienne. He needed to tell her something. Something important.

He felt sticky lips press to his cheek just before he escaped into the darkened room. He looked at the bed, the mound of pillows and the mound of Brienne. The floor beneath him moved again and he almost fell into the closet. He caught himself on the arm of the chair. Deciding not to risk the bathroom, Jaime stripped off his clothes, crawled in bed and said what he’d been planning to say since he’d left the bar. “Prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen and a slammin’ kisser.” And with that, he promptly passed out.

  
  



	7. Let It Flow

Jaime woke up with his head pounding. He felt as if he’d slept with an old sock stuffed in his mouth. Instead of the sweet warmth of Brienne next to him, she was already up and out of the shower. And by the banging and huffing sounds she was making, it seemed as if she were furious. He pushed himself up against the headboard and scratched his chest. “Hey,” he said.

Brienne turned her head and glared at him before sitting down to tie her sneakers. He’d been drunk last night and probably said too much, told her that he was interested in when she was on the rebound and had no interest at all in him. _Fuck_ , he hoped he hadn’t ruined everything.

He massaged his temples. “What’s on the couples’ agenda for the day?” He hoped to hell it wasn’t another round of parasailing. Just the thought made his stomach lurch. The last thing he needed was to blow chunks in front of Brienne.

He could see the muscle ticking in her jaw. “We signed up for the shuffleboard tournament, if you aren’t too exhausted by last night’s _activities_.”

Damn, what had he done last night? Made a pass at her? He groaned and shook his head and that was a mistake. “No, yes. I mean I’m not too exhausted and yes to shuffleboard. I just need to get some food in me. And coffee.”

She stood up, grabbed her things and opened the door. “Fine, I’ll see you on Bandallon Deck later.” She walked out, slamming the door behind her.

Jaime fell to one side and buried his face in her pillow.

一

Brienne had her plate full from the buffet and turned to look for a table. Victaria was sitting alone at a table, picking at a plate of fruit. Likely waiting for Jaime. Brienne wasn’t sure exactly what had happened between Victaria and Jaime last night and she knew she didn’t have a right to be angry. But she _was_. She looked to the other side of the deck. Mance and Dalla seemed to be fighting. _Again._ Brienne had just about decided to give up finding a table and take her plate up to the other deck to eat alone when she heard a familiar, “Yooohooo.”

Captain Mace took her arm. “Now Brella, let me help find you a seat. The BJ makes us all friends, and almost family.” With that last word, he appeared to spot Victaria and began steering Brienne towards the table.

“JB,” she murmured instinctively, trying to figure out a way to escape. Just then, she heard a voice call out.

“Brienne, Brienne? We have an open spot. Come join us,” Jyana waved to an empty seat.

Brienne disentangled herself from the Captain with a polite nod towards Jyana. Thankfully, he wandered off yooohooing at another passenger. Brienne made her way to the Reed’s table. She sat down and poured herself a tall glass of orange juice.

“How are you this morning?” Howland asked. “We didn’t see you at dinner last night. Too tired after your boat excursion yesterday? Took advantage of room service?” He gave her a broad wink.

Brienne gave him a awkward smile. “We actually had dinner in the Cove Bar. Then Jaime went for drinks and I went straight to bed. Jaime slept late.” She took a drink of her juice and knew that her unhappiness must be showing on her face.

Jyana raised a brow at her. “Oh,” she said delicately. “Well, I’m sure Jaime will be joining you soon, dear. What’s on for today?”

Brienne shoveled a bite of eggs in her mouth and swallowed before answering. “Shuffleboard tournament.” After watching the other couples at parasailing yesterday, she thought she and Jaime were probably the most athletic ‘couple’ on board. “If Jaime manages to get up in time, we’ll likely win.”

Howland drew back from her and his previous affable expression turned into something much harder. Jyana touched his hand, a look of alarm on her face.

“Jya and I have been on ninety-seven cruises. We compete in the shuffleboard tournament every single time.” He leaned in then, his voice dark and low, “And we always win.”

“ _Always,_ ” Jyana repeated looking at Brienne with a clear and definite gaze, all trace of kindness gone.

“Oh, uhm, well,” Brienne didn’t quite know what to say. Everything seemed to have gone wrong for her this morning. “It’s just shuffleboard.” She shrugged. She hadn’t meant to offend them.

Two chairs scraped the deck as they were pushed back from the table, the Reeds standing in unison. “Come, Jya, we’ll see her later at the tournament. _If_ she decides to show up. It’s _just shuffleboard_ afterall.”

Brienne looked after them in surprise, but started to feel her competitive spirit rise. The old couple seemed nice enough, but if there were one thing at which Brienne excelled, it was sports. She suddenly very much wanted to win at something today. Jaime had better be up to it.

一

Jaime had hoped he would have a chance to talk to Brienne and explain about last night, but once he arrived on deck, she was all business, ignoring all of his attempts to really talk to her. She had read the rules of shuffleboard and run him through a few practice drills before the tournament began. Not that drills were needed. They blew through the competition and found themselves up against the cruise director and the head purser in the semi-finals.

Jaime glanced at Margaery, preening in her skimpy shorts, standing beside him simpering and trying to distract him from his shot. She and Loras had proven to be much worthier shuffleboard opponents than he’d anticipated. Unsurprising as they lived on the ship.

What Margaery lacked in strength, she made up in precision and cleavage. Loras was the stronger player and he’d managed to distract Brienne at the other end of the board, causing a few of her shots to go wide. Jaime wasn’t sure what the man had been saying to Brienne, but it seemed as if his bunny were ready to punch the pretty blond boy in the face. Jaime wouldn’t have blamed her. The man was irritating him with the hair flips and sly smiles and Jaime couldn’t even hear what he was saying.

Jaime lined up his final shot. He could win this for her. He knew he could.

“I saw you in the bar last night. Alone. Is there trouble in paradise?” Margaery asked with an insincere smile.

He froze in place, stopping his shot before turning to look at her, staring until she had the grace to look away.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I didn’t mean to distract you.”

He raised one brow and continued to stare at her in silence.

He watched her as her discomfort grew. This girl wasn’t used to someone not falling for her sly smiles and wide doe-eyes.

“Hey, you’re going to take your shot yet?” Loras yelled from the other end of the board.

Jaime spent another ten seconds staring at Margaery before straightening and looking down the board at Brienne. She was flushed and had her arms crossed over her chest. Her white overall shorts were wrinkled, her navy polo half untucked and one shoe was untied. Even her long bare legs were turning pink. He had a brief thought of rubbing sunscreen into them. He shook his head. _That_ was more distracting than anything Margaery ‘Cruise Director’ Tyrell had said or done all afternoon. “Come on, Jaime, you can do this,” she shouted.

With a quick turn, Jaime made his final shot, landing perfectly in the scoring area and knocking Margaery’s disk to a ten off. Brienne shouted from the other end of the board. “Perfect!” She looked happier than she had all day.

He tossed Margaery his cue stick and rushed to the end of the board, bypassing Brienne’s offered high five and wrapping his arms around her to lift her off the ground before kissing her soundly on the lips. That would show the Tyrell girl there was no ‘trouble in paradise.’

He’d initially felt Brienne’s resistance, likely still angry with him over his boorish behavior last night, but after a moment, she relaxed in his arms. Her lips parted and it was only instinct to dart his tongue inside. He felt her gasp into his mouth as he slowly let her down to her feet, her body sliding down his.

“Oh uh, excuse me,” a voice said as Jaime felt a tapping against his shoulder.

He angled his head a bit and moved one hand up to the back of Brienne’s neck, feeling the sweat on her skin and the dampness of her hair.

The tapping again on his shoulder and this time the load clearing of a throat.

Brienne pulled away. He looked at her swollen lips and flushed face as she stared down at her tennis shoes.

“What?” he asked turning to the annoying purser.

“You really shouldn’t be doing that out on the deck,” Loras dared to admonish him. “There are children around.”

Jaime narrowed his eyes. They hadn’t been doing more than kissing. Well, it was pretty intense kissing. The kind that would have led to more if only they’d been back in their cabin.

Margaery approached with the Reeds following behind her. “Jaime, Brienne, here are the winners of the other semi-final. I think you know Jyana and Howland.”

Jaime released Brienne and looked at the Reeds with what he was sure was a feral grin. They were likely easy prey. He’d win this shuffleboard trophy for Brienne. “Come on, Bunny,” he said, “let’s win this thing.”

一

As Jyana’s final puck made its way down the board, knocking Jaime into the alley and out of scoring range, stopping perfectly in the ten, Brienne couldn’t believe it. The Reeds weren’t just shuffleboard players; they were shuffleboard _hustlers._

The winners met in the middle of the board and executed a complicated jive handshake ending in a bump of their likely arthritic hips.

Jaime approached her, cue stick still in hand. “Sorry, Bunny.”

It was the last straw on an already difficult day. Loras had spent the entire semi-final suggesting she get a haircut, buy new clothes and telling her how the proper makeup would really improve her complexion, getting on her already frayed nerves. Then to be kissed by Jaime, again, after he’d kissed Victaria right in the doorway of their room, and now, losing to a pair of geriatrics, she had reached her limit. She shoved her cue in his chest.

“I am not your _bunny_ ,” she growled before turning on her heel and heading back to their cabin.

一

Jaime sat on the deck, under the stars, _alone_. Brienne had told him very definitely she wanted to have a quiet dinner and read a book, making it clear that Jaime wasn’t invited. She hadn’t even given him a chance to apologize. He stood up and walked to the railing, looking down at the water rushing by below.

“Not thinking of jumping, are you?”

Jaime turned at the sound and came face to face with Howland Reed.

“Might have creamed you at shuffleboard today, but that’s no reason to give up on life, son,” he said with a hearty clap on Jaime’s back.

Jaime leaned his arms on the railing, again looking down. “Not jumping, just thinking about things.”

“Something wrong then?”

Jaime shrugged. “Brienne is mad at me.”

Howland raised a brow. “Over the shuffleboard?”

Jaime shook his head. “Nah, it’s bigger than that, I think. I don’t know though, she won’t talk to me.”

“As a man whose been married for more years than you’ve been alive, I can tell you getting a woman to talk when she doesn’t want to is harder than pulling a ten ton truck with your teeth.”

Jaime turned to the elder man with a sigh. “So, with all your years of wisdom, how do I fix it?”

Howland grinned at him. “Have you considered getting locked together in a broom closet? That’s how I got Jyana to agree to marry me. She was so mad at me for something, I can’t even remember now. I got us locked in a closet for three hours and within two, she was putty in my hands.” He winked.

“I don’t think Brienne and I could actually fit in a broom closet,” Jaime said with a wry smile.

“Ah well, give it time. You’ll figure out something. I’m sure of it,” Howland said as he turned to head back inside. “And if there aren’t any broom closets around, you might just consider apologizing.”

一

Brienne had prepared herself for Jaime to return to their room drunk again, or have Victaria walk him to their cabin, or worse, for him not to return at all. But she was surprised when he slipped in the room quietly, cleaned up, undressed and crawled in bed with her. She pretended to be asleep, but she heard him say something before he settled in.

“I’m sorry, Brienne.”


	8. It Floats Back to You

Brienne woke with her head pressed against Jaime’s neck and her legs entwined with his. She tried to ease away, and he whimpered, grabbing her hand and clutching it to his chest. She lay still for a moment and he relaxed back into her. She’d been unfair to him yesterday. He didn’t owe her anything, no matter how many times he’d kissed her. Thinking on it, she really didn’t believe he’d been with Victaria, or anyone else. He was using Brienne as his fake girlfriend to _avoid_ women, although she had no idea why. Maybe he was regretting it just a little. He didn’t owe her any apology for that.

It was just that the more time she spent around him, the more she liked him. When he wasn’t being jerk, he was funny and smart and fun. Brienne had thought she’d enjoy the cruise alone, but having a partner to do things with had made it so much better. Jaime wasn't to blame for that.

Jaime certainly didn’t hate her, but he definitely wasn’t into her. She pulled her hand away and got out of bed, sure not to wake him. She’d give him some space today, do things solo. If he wanted to hang out with Victaria, or any other woman, he could. It wasn’t any of her business. And she had no right to be angry at him for it.

She showered and got ready for the day.

一

Jaime heard Brienne gathering her things and heading out the door. She was likely still angry with him. If she wanted to spend time with him, she’d have woken him up. _Damn it all to hells._ He’d apologized, or tried to. It just wasn’t enough. Just like with Cersei, it would never be enough. He rolled over thinking about just sleeping the day away but noticed a note on the pillow beside him. He opened it.

Her writing was strong and bold and surprisingly girly.

_“Jaime,_

_Just because we are a ‘couple’ doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have fun on our own. Do something you enjoy and I’ll see you at dinner.”_

She signed it with an enormous B complete with two swirls and an extra loop.

Maybe she had forgiven him, or at least was getting over her anger. She was just asking for a little space. He could give that to her. Maybe _that_ would be enough. He would have a day on his own, without Brienne. The thought of sleeping in wasn’t as appealing as it had been a few moments before. He just had absolutely no idea what to do.

一

After breakfast, Brienne made her way to the opposite end of the boat, thinking about catching some rays. She arranged herself on a deck chair, ordered a Tab, strapped her big sunhat on and began rubbing sunblock onto her shoulders. With her luck, she’d miss a spot and end up with one fiery red patch on her back.

She sighed, already bored, so she leaned back and opened her book. She fidgeted, feeling the straps of the chair digging into the backs of her thighs. She crossed one leg over the other, then realized that if she were ever to tan, she’d end up with a white mark over one ankle. She read two paragraphs only to realize she couldn’t even remember the plot of her novel. She took a sip of her slowly warming soda. She could feel her head beginning to sweat around the brim of her hat. She scratched her shoulder. She put down her book and decided to nap.

Someone flopped down in the chair beside her. Brienne opened her eyes, hoping to see Jaime, only to find Dalla beside her. “Mance has decided to go the casino,” Dalla announced by way of greeting.

“Oh, erm,” Brienne had no idea how to reply. “That’s nice?”

Dalla huffed. “Nice? More like he’s going to spend all day there, come back reeking of booze and ciggies and expect me to listen to the tales of his wins. I should divorce him before he loses all of his money.”

Brienne lowered her sunglasses. “You two seemed to be getting along fine the other day?”

Dalla flashed Brienne an amused look. “That’s how we work, hon. We fight; we make up. Mance had sworn never to marry. Said it was too much like _kneeling_. He gave in when I started withholding sex. He’s never forgiven me for it.”

“You manipulated him into marriage?” Brienne asked, appalled.

“Like I said, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Well, this milk isn’t free,” she said, adjusting her bikini top.

“Oh,” Brienne said thinking that sounded like an awful reason to marry.

“Come on, don’t you manipulate Jaime every now and then? Tease him? Withhold sex? Pretend to be mad at him when you’re not? Threaten to cheat on him?”

Brienne shook her head vehemently. She couldn’t imagine behaving like that, even with Hyle.

“Oh sugar, you have so much to learn about men. Let’s go get a massage and I will teach you all about how to keep your old man in line.”

一

The masseuse dug her hands into the muscles of Brienne’s back as Dalla continued her lecture from the next table over. “Never let him know how much you love and need him. If you do, the game is lost. He’ll always have the power over you. Relationships are a war, Brie, and you want to come out the winner.”

“Isn’t that, I mean, shouldn’t love be about not playing games? Honesty?” Brienne mumbled.

“Honesty? Hells no. What fun is there in being honest? Mance and I fight, then he has to win me back or I have to win him back and the makeup sex is innnnncredible,” Dalla responded with a wink. “Though I imagine sex with a man that has a body like Jaime’s is always incredible? Is it? Tell me all about it?”

Brienne’s face flamed.

一

Jaime had scoured every deck of the ship, hoping to casually catch sight of Brienne, but she was nowhere to be found. Willas came by with a Sanorii Sling and Jaime waved it away, opting for guava juice instead. He leaned back in his deck chair, irritated. Victaria slipped into the seat beside him. Jaime glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Heya he-man, how are you doing?” she said, leaning in to brush her ample breasts against his arm.

He pulled away. “Fine,” he answered.

“I thought you might have come to see me last night,” she said, licking her lips.

“No.” Gods, couldn’t this woman take a the hint. He was just about to get up and walk away when he spotted Howland Reed. He signaled the older man over.

After Howland had taken his seat, Jaime turned his back on Victaria and said, “So, you had mentioned something about your daughter and her boyfriend living in a tree?”

Howland was an observant man and he launched into a detailed story about Bran Stark’s environmental activism, from chaining himself to a weirwood for six months to moving into the heart tree. Victaria was gone within ten minutes.

一

Brienne had to escape Dalla and her advice on ‘making your man miserable in order to keep him.’ She’d left the woman in the steam room, claiming she was going to go find a drink. Even though her relationship with Hyle had not been good, at least it wasn’t a total nightmare of one-upmanship and game-playing like Dalla and Mance. She stumbled into Jyana as the older woman came out of the beauty salon, nearly knocking the smaller woman over.

Brienne grabbed Jyana, preventing her from falling, and righted her. “Sorry,” Brienne mumbled.

Jyana patted her curls. “You young people, always in such a hurry.”

Brienne blushed. She leaned in, and almost whispered, “I’ve spent the afternoon with Dalla in the spa. Learning her tips and tricks for how to keep a man. I’m afraid she’s going to catch up with me and want to talk some more.” Brienne looked behind her, as if expecting Dalla to appear before turning back to Jyana and biting her lip.

Jyana looked at Brienne’s panicked face. With a strength that belied her age and stature, the Reed woman steered Brienne out onto the deck. “You poor dear. I can’t even imagine. That girl and her husband.” She patted Brienne’s arm. “That’s not a real marriage at all. No foundation. No strong base. Howlie and I might fight, but not like that. Not over fake things. We don’t make up reasons to argue. Well, we bicker sometimes and that’s fun.” She winked. “Like you and Jaime do. But real fights, where you say hurtful things, no, that’s not a real relationship at all. Marriage should be built on a foundation of love and trust. And honesty.”

Brienne found herself standing beside a table where Howland Reed sat playing gin rummy with Jaime. By the look on Jaime’s face, he was winning.

“Communication, that’s the key, isn’t it, honeybunch?” Jyana finished with a question to her husband.

“Not the key to winning at cards,” Howland said with a grumble before taking his wife’s hand and kissing it. He motioned for Brienne to sit down. “Jya and I wanted to talk to you two.” He nodded at his wife, who sat down as well.

“Our prize for winning the shuffleboard tournament,” she paused and Howland’s eyes twinkled with delight as Jaime let out a low growl, “was a trophy and a Night Under the Stars/Braavosi Sunrise Package. And while you can’t have _our_ trophy, Howlie’s sinuses have been bothering him, so he doesn’t want to sleep outside. So we want you to take it.”

“Oh一 ” Jaime started.

“We couldn’t一 ” Brienne added in.

Jya patted Jaime’s hand. “Now don’t be silly you two. If you don’t use this package, it’s just going to go to waste. And if there’s one thing we know about going on a cruise, it’s that you should take every free thing they give you.”

“You two deserve a nice, romantic night,” Howland added, looking at Brienne with soft, kind eyes.

Brienne felt herself melting under the combined force of Reed niceness. “I guess, I mean, if Jaime wants to...?” She glanced over at him, but he was staring at Howland who was now  leaning towards him.

“Those outdoor beds, bigger than a broom closet,” Howland said and winked at Jaime.

“We’ll take it!” Jaime declared.

一

Jaime watched Brienne pick at her food as they sat on the deck, their table lit only with carved candles, twinkling lights strung up along the railing and the ambient light of the moon. Jaime cleared his throat. She dropped her fork.

“I’m sorry一 ”

They spoke at the same time, stopped and slowly grinned at each other.

“Ladies first,” Jaime offered, but she shook her head. He went on. “About the other night, I’m sorry I got plastered, and whatever I said, or did, well, I didn’t mean it. I’ve enjoyed this cruise with you and I feel like I blew it.”

Brienne shook her head. “No, Jaime, no. You’ve been great, really. Hyle jerked you over and you could have made this very unpleasant for me. I had no right to be huffy with you.” She smiled at him shyly. “I’ve enjoyed it too. Who would have thought pretending to have a boyfriend would be more fun than spending time with the one I actually had?”

 _Pretending_. That stung a little, but at least she wasn’t mad any more.

The rest of their dinner was much more comfortable. But that was before they were reclining on an outdoor bed, surrounded by curtains but no canopy, with a bottle of champagne...and not enough pillows for a barrier. Howland was right. It _was_ bigger than a broom closet, but Brienne could also just get up and leave if Jaime pushed her too hard.

He reached his hand out and clasped hers, hoping she wouldn't run. He felt her stiffen. Without looking at her, he began talking, “When I was around seven, I jumped off the cliffs of Casterly Rock into the ocean. There were rocks below. I thought I was invincible, the Lion of Lannister. I managed to land in the water. I was lucky I didn’t die.”

He paused and waited. He heard her inhale. She turned her hand to twine her fingers with his and began speaking.

“When _I_ was seven, I was always skipping out on my music and deportment lessons. I knew my septa was going to hunt me down, so I found a cave near the shore where I could hide. I fell asleep once and when I woke, it was hours later and the tide had come in, trapping me. I spent all night there, terrified I’d be stuck forever and that my father would think I’d run away. When I finally made it home in the morning, it was to find that my septa hadn’t even reported me missing.”

Jaime rolled to face her. “I lost my mother when I was eight. She died giving birth to my brother, Tyrion.”

Brienne mirrored his position. “I lost my mother when I was four, when she gave birth to my sisters, who didn’t survive, and my brother drowned when I was nine and he was twelve.”

Jaime looked into her incredible blue eyes and watched how the moonlight washed across her face and knew he was ready to spend the entire night baring his soul to her, and seeing hers in return.  



	9. A Friendly Shore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Gary for the emergency review. This chapter has been the most difficult. It's the "montage" you see in every Love Boat episode.

Jaime had only been asleep for about an hour when he felt Brienne shifting beside him. He blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the pre-dawn light. Her head was on his bare chest and her arm wrapped around his waist. It seemed his chest hair was tickling her nose. He watched her big crooked nose scrunch up. She shifted again, this time turning her face up towards his. He had a powerful urge to kiss her.

Last night had been incredible. He’d never in his life felt so close to a woman. He told her about Tyrion, and always feeling he had to protect his little brother, even though Tyrion was the brain of the family. He shared his boyhood hopes and dreams, explained how he’d gotten stuck working for his father, and about Tywin’s expectations and constant pressure. He told her he’d never felt like he was his own man.

Brienne had listened without judgment, her blue eyes accepting and sympathetic. She talked to him, too. She told him about her childhood, losing her brother, her father’s depression over losing his wife and son, how she practically raised herself, a wild child running all over the island of Tarth. She told him of being held back at work, her chauvinist pig boss. Then she shared her first experiences with boys, the mocking, the horrors of high school, the bet on her virginity. How she thought there was a chance at love with Hyle, but underneath she knew he wasn’t the right one for her.

Jaime felt more than a little relief at that. She wasn’t heartbroken over that asshole. Maybe she was ready to try again.

Looking into Brienne’s eyes last night, Jaime had felt things he had never felt with a woman before, not even with Cersei. He felt safe. He felt trust. Jaime felt as if he’d belonged. He hadn’t wanted to ruin last night, but he knew he was ready to tell her why he was really on this cruise. And he was realizing that he wasn’t all that heartbroken, either.

一

Brienne woke as Jaime gently spoke her name. She looked up at him, his tousled hair and green eyes. She’d thought he was handsome before, before she knew him, before she knew his soul, but now she’d never seen a more beautiful man.

He smiled at her and jutted his chin towards the end of the bed. At some point, one of the staff must have tied back the sheer panels surrounding the bed, because as she lay there in Jaime’s arms, she watched the sun rise over the Titan of Braavos and knew there was no other place on earth that she wanted to be... and that it wouldn’t last. Losing Hyle hadn’t really hurt her, but if she weren’t careful, leaving Jaime once they docked in King’s Landing would.

一

Jaime reached out to help Brienne from the boat as they docked for their shore excursion. She’d been quiet the whole ride over. The closeness of the previous night seemed to have vanished. As they walked down the dock, Jaime tried to recapture that feeling by twining his fingers with hers and she resisted. He wondered what he’d done to make her pull away.

“Brienne,” Jaime said, “don’t forget, we _are_ supposed to be lovers.” He flicked his head back towards the launch and the Tyrell crew members shouting reminders that the launch back to the JB would be leaving at eight that evening. Maybe if he could get her back to faking their relationship, she’d forget it wasn’t just pretend and actually open up to him again.

She stopped tugging her hand. She plastered a clearly fake smile on her face. “Okay.”

He bumped her shoulder with his. “Come on, Bunny. Let’s have a little fun. The cruise is almost over.”

Her fingers tightened on his, then, before her hand relaxed. “Yeah, it’s almost over. Might as well enjoy it.” She turned to him with an odd expression, but her blue eyes were shining.

Jaime grinned. He would make sure she enjoyed their day in Braavos, enjoyed it so much she’d want to spend more days with him when cruise was over.

一

Brienne decided to let herself go. She was in Braavos with a gorgeous man, who wasn’t _exactly_ her boyfriend, but was going to act like it. Once they got back to King’s Landing, she’d never see Jaime again. She was going make the most of the time they had.

The couples’ shore excursion included a late brunch at the Sealord's Palace. The place was a menagerie of Essosi flora and fauna with a buffet along the center. Jaime insisted on filling her plate for her. Brienne looked around the room at the other couples, all smiling at one another, all really in love, even Dalla and Mance making googly eyes at each other.

It was just so romantic that even the Rayders couldn’t spoil it一 instead of fighting, Mance peeled a banana and held it up to Dalla’s mouth. She giggled, poked her husband in the shoulder and then took an enormous bite. Mance leaned in for a kiss and Brienne thought they might have been passing banana back and forth between them.

Well, _that_ wasn’t romantic.

“Here we go,” Jaime said as he placed a plate of exotic foods in front of her, with a plate for himself. She smiled her thanks at him.

He sat down and speared a chunk of fruit, holding it out to her. Brienne blushed and took the proffered food, enjoying the tart and sweet flavor. She licked her lips and realized Jaime was staring at her. She wondered if she should feed him now. Instead, she set to cutting up a slice of capretto. She pointed at her plate, offering him a bite.

He took it and chewed. “A little gamey. Goat’s not my favorite, but it’s a specialty so I thought we could give it a try. Not bad, no so great, either.”

Brienne tasted it. He was right. She’d rather eat the fruit.

“So what do you say we do everything we can that is special and unique to Braavos today? In fact, I’ve already decided what we’re going to do next,” Jaime said definitively.

“You _decided_?” She knew whatever he’d planned would be fun, but she was too independent to let him get away with making decisions for her.

He nodded with a cheeky grin. “Dancing.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. He looked so pleased with himself. “Fine,” she said, “but I get to pick the next activity.”

一

Jaime watched Brienne move around the Moon Pool, following the steps of the Braavosi swordmaster. She’d taken to water dancing like a natural. He shouldn’t have been surprised. She was graceful in her own way, more graceful that she realized. She seemed to feel his eyes on her and looked up, her face blotchy and beaming.

He jumped up to join her, wondering what she’d want to do next.

一

“I told you I grew up on Tarth. I love being on the water,” Brienne said from her seated position in the bow of the boat. “And I’m perfectly capable of steering a punt.”

“Now, Bunny, just let me be the gentleman for once,” Jaime replied with a grin. “And you be the lady.”

“I’m no lady,” she grumbled, rearranged herself and adjusted the ties of her sunhat. “Not a bunny, either.”

Jaime whistled a jaunty tune, nodding to the other punters. “ _My_ bunny,” he responded, then shouted, “Look up!”

Without thinking, Brienne did, and found herself looking directly up the skirt of the Titan of Braavos. She quickly looked away and scowled at Jaime.

He winked at her. “Impressive, yes, but not as impressive as me,” he said, following it with a waggle of his brows.

Brienne thought the sound that escaped her might have actually been a giggle.

一

Jaime noticed the glow in Brienne’s eyes as he reached for her hand in the ‘gold room’ of the Iron Bank.

“That’s incredible,” she whispered, staring at the mounds of gold, the gold walls, the gold light fixtures, the ostentatious display of wealth.

He was reminded of Cersei. His chest tightened. “Do you want it? All that money? Lannisters are rich, you know.”

She turned to him with a slightly disgusted look on her face. “For myself? Of course not. I mean it’s incredible that all that money is sitting there, nothing more than a tourist attraction, when it could be used to help people. Free clinics, shelters for the homeless...  I wrote a story about the development of people living on the streets in King’s Landing, but my boss thought it was too depressing. Not as depressing as _this_ ,” she added, tilting her head towards garish display. “If Lannisters are so rich, they could be using some of their money for good.”

Jaime pulled her hand up to his mouth and brushed his lips across her knuckles. “We really should. We just need someone to force us into it.”

He watched the blush spread over her cheeks.

一

Jaime’s fingers were still woven with hers as they walked to the dock after dinner at the House of Black and White. Brienne couldn’t remember a day she’d enjoyed so much. Well, yes, she could: just a few days ago, when they’d been in Pentos. It had been a fantastic day, but this one, now that she knew Jaime more, was even better. She wished it didn’t have to end.

一

Jaime didn’t want the day to end. He’d actually considered causing them to miss the launch back to the cruise ship, forcing them to stay in Braavos overnight, but they’d finished dinner early and he’d enjoyed the walk on the dock in the moonlight. She’d let him put his arm around her on the ride back, and he could feel the heat of her thigh through the thin material of their pants as it pressed into his.

Now he was dawdling, moving slower than Howland and Jyana, as they made their way back to their cabin. He wanted nothing more than to crawl in bed with her, but not to sleep. He just didn’t want to rush things.

Brienne turned to him, an adorable blush creeping over her face. “So, I was thinking, we could, maybe, if you want, try out one of the hot tubs?”

一

Brienne didn’t know what had made her brave enough to suggest the hot tub, but she was glad she did. She reclined in her seat, letting the warm water ease away the tension of the last few days.

She looked over at Jaime. He was all gorgeousness in the moonlight. She bit her lip. “Thank you, Jaime. I mean, for today. It was nice.”

He scooted over to sit beside her, leaning his head back and looking at the stars. “I had a good day, too. Better than I’ve had in a long time.”

It had been a fantastic day, but didn’t a man like him have fantastic days all the time? Here, in the near darkness, with the warm water bubbling around them, she asked him what she really wanted to know. “Why are you here, Jaime? On this cruise? Alone? I mean, a guy like you…” her voice trailed off.

He turned to look at her, his eyes sparkling with their usual mischief. “A guy like me _what_?”

She bumped her shoulder against his. “You know what I mean.”

He inhaled and looked up at the stars. He found her hand under the water and brushed his thumb over her knuckles. “My sister was getting married.”

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected him to say, but that wasn’t it. “Oh. Uhm… congratulations?”

He snorted.

“So you’re _not_ happy about it? Is the guy she’s marrying so awful?” Brienne asked.

Jaime didn’t answer right away, instead  taking his time as he twined his fingers with hers.

“Cersei, my sister一 stepsister actually一 and I were close. Very close. Our parents married when we were very young. We grew up together, almost as if we were twins, two halves of one whole. We even looked alike, same color hair and eyes. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Brienne felt her stomach tightening. Of course Jaime’s sister was beautiful, just like Jaime was beautiful. And Brienne knew she was most definitely _not_ beautiful, or anywhere close. “Oh,” she murmured, trying to tug her hand away.

Jaime’s fingers tightened on hers. “Then, when we were teenagers, things changed. Cersei was the only girl I’d ever liked. And when it came time to start _liking_ girls, it seemed that she should be the one for me.” His eyes met hers and then she got it. He had been _in love_ with his stepsister. Of course he had. He’d said Cersei was beautiful.

She blinked and resisted the impulse to yank her big, ugly, not-beautiful hand away. “And was she…?”

“In love with me?” he leaned his head back and looked up at the stars. “She is, well, she was, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Cersei Lannister, perfection. On the outside, at least.” He turned his head and glanced at her. “I don’t think she ever loved me. I don’t think she ever loved anyone but herself. Even her fiance.” He nodded. “Yes, we were together, for a long while. In secret. She would date other men and I would… pretend to date other women. She said we had to keep up the pretense, she was just much better at it than I was. And then she met Robert Baratheon, and as the girlfriend of Bitchin’ Bobby B, she no longer had any use for me.”

“Oh,” Brienne murmured again. No wonder Jaime had been willing to fake-date her. He wasn’t interested in dating at _all_. Why would he want to date when he’d had the most beautiful woman in the word? Other women couldn’t compare. And she, tall, pale, freckled, _ugly_ Brienne, certainly couldn’t.

He continued, “She asked me to remain faithful after the wedding.”

Brienne shook her head in confusion. “What? You were supposed to give up your life, give up your chance at a marriage and family of your own, for an affair?”

Jaime shrugged. “What Cersei wants, Cersei gets.”

That sounded worse than Mance and Dalla. Jaime deserved better. She reached with her other hand to squeeze his knee. “But not this time. You’re going to get over her.”

“She said we were one soul in two bodies. I thought I couldn’t live without her.”

Cersei sounded horrible, trying to suck the very life from Jaime. Wonderful, funny, kind, caring, gorgeous Jaime. Brienne shook her head.

“You can, Jaime, you _can_. Look at you. I mean, look at all you’ve done on this cruise. How much fun you’ve had, how much fun you’ve made everything. How can you think you couldn’t live without her? These last few days,” she paused, “well, I haven’t felt so alive in a long, long time. That’s because of you.” She knew what she had to add, even if the very thought of it hurt. “And you’ll find someone new. I know you will. You just have to give yourself a chance.”

He looked right into her eyes. “I don’t know, Brienne. Many women might think I’m damaged goods.”

Brienne snorted. Any woman would be lucky to have him.

“Don’t be a coward. You should definitely put yourself out there and try to find someone.”

The moment Brienne said it, she regretted it. She didn’t want him to think that she meant he should try with _her,_ but she also didn’t want him to try it with someone _else_ , at least not until they said goodbye in two days. She turned to look up at the stars, afraid to see the expression on his face.

“I’m sure there a perfect match out there for you,” she added at last, trying to keep the tremble out of her voice.

After they got back to the room, Brienne lay in bed, nervously waiting for Jaime to finish changing and join her. The only pillows on the bed were his and hers. The pillow wall had been ridiculous. They were grown adults, and adults could share a bed without having sex. She wasn’t a square. Well, sometimes she was, just a little, but she could be hip. She _could._

But as she heard the bathroom door open, it hit her. What if Jaime saw the absence of the pillow wall not as her being a mature adult, understanding of the ways of the world, but as if she were making a _pass_ at him. She wasn’t _that_ hip. The thought that he might take her up on it gave her a tingle, but the fear of rejection was stronger. Brienne did the only thing she could think of.

She rolled over and pretended to be asleep.


	10. An Open Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Gary for the review. This chapter became a monster so I split it in two.

Brienne woke that morning completely wrapped around Jaime, an arm around his bare waist and her face buried against his neck. And not only that, her nightgown had ridden up around her waist at some point and one of her bare thighs was between his. _Gods, he felt good pressed against her._

Jaime woke up then, too. “Morning, Bunny.”

Mortified, Brienne untangled herself and yanked her nightgown down before scooching back to her side of the bed and sitting up.

“So what’s on the agenda?” she asked, hoping he wouldn’t embarrass her by commenting on how she’d cuddled up to him in her sleep.

To her relief, Jaime just backed up against the headboard and pulled one of her pillows across his lap. “You don’t have something planned?”

She shrugged. “Last day. I thought we could play it by ear.” She wanted to enjoy the time they had left and not lose whatever friendship they had forged the previous night, but she knew he might want to take her advice and use the day to find someone new.

Jaime grabbed the ship’s itinerary from the bedside table and looked it over. “Since we dock back in KL tomorrow, tonight’s dinner is the big end-of-cruise costume party, but the day has nothing scheduled that looks fun.”

“I wouldn’t mind getting a workout in. Maybe an aerobics class. All that rich food yesterday. Maybe we could meet up after?”

She’d like to skip the costume party and have a final dinner with him in Wyl Cove, but it would be the perfect opportunity if he wanted to pick up a girl for a one night stand. Just the thought made her stomach clench. She stood up and twisted left at the waist, then right, before lifting her arms over her head. She _did_ need to work out.

Jaime coughed behind her and said in a strangled voice, “You in a leotard and leg warmers? I wouldn’t miss that for the world, Bunny.”

一

Brienne didn’t mind disappointing Jaime even one little bit by wearing a pair of loose shorts over her aerobics gear. She loved a good, hard workout, but the class was designed for beginners. It was more like a warm-up followed by a cool-down without a lot in between, but watching Jyana and Howland doing low-impact leg lifts, she understood why the class wasn’t more advanced.

Jaime, on the other hand, found his first aerobics class a delight. He’d taken a spot behind her in the group, saying he wanted to ‘copy her form.’ He counted aloud through the leg lifts, claimed he could ‘feel the burn’ and that he loved the pelvic isolations.

He kept shouting out encouragement to her as well: “Come on, Bunny, two more reps!” She considered turning around and strangling him, but Victaria had positioned herself right beside him, and Brienne didn’t even want to _look_ at that woman. She did, however, take a certain satisfaction in hearing Victaria huffing and puffing as she struggled to keep up.

Brienne had barely broken a sweat when the class ended. After they’d toweled off, Jaime took her arm, turned his back on Victaria and led Brienne over to Howland and Jyana, who had taken a seat and were enjoying a pitcher of Summer Isles Delight juice blend.

“All that hiking your leg up like a dog throws a man’s hip out,” Howland grumbled, shifting uncomfortably. “Exercise isn’t natural.”

Jyana patted his arm. “All you’ve done this cruise is eat. You know Jojen will want you to go on one of his fad diets and eat only paste or something for a month when we get back. Best to start being healthier now.” She turned to Jaime and Brienne, her eyes twinkling. “We didn’t see you yesterday. How was the night under the stars? And the day in Braavos?”

Jaime reached out and twined his hand with her slightly sweaty one with a wink. “We didn’t manage to get much sleep,” he replied.

“It was very nice,” Brienne choked out, trying to ignore his implication and change the subject. “We did have a good day in Braavos. Thank you.”

Howland looked at Jaime with a grin. “Was that bed as good as a broom closet?”

Jaime grinned back. “Close.”

Brienne wrinkled her brow in confusion, even as her face flamed in a way that had nothing to do with the sun or workout.

Jyana poked Howland in the shoulder. He winced. “Hush, you, don’t tease.” She turned back to Brienne. “We’re happy you had a good time. Those shore excursions don’t take into account sore knees. They are better suited to younger couples like you two.”

“Well, lovey, your knee didn’t stop us from beating them at shuffleboard,” Howland replied.

Brienne didn’t like losing, but she couldn’t be angry with them. He was a sweet man, and they had given Jaime and Brienne the prize for winning, after all.

“Ninety-seven cruises and counting,” Jyana said proudly before leaning in to kiss Howland’s cheek.

With a waggle of his eyebrows and a hilarious exaggerated leer, Howland said, “Maybe we should get back to our rooms. Take a little _nap_ before the costume party tonight.”

Jyana blushed as they stood up to go. “Well,” she said, patting her hair, “I _do_ need to put the finishing touches on our costumes for tonight. We always bring our own, rather than choosing from the ones the cruise offers. Have you picked out yours yet?”

Brienne shook her head. She remembered the fiasco with the Pirate Adventure and knew that with her size, she’d likely be stuck wearing a man’s costume. “I was thinking of skipping it. I’m not sure they’ll have anything that fits me.”

Howland shook his head. “Absolutely not. You have to come to the costume party. It’s the last night. _Everyone_ comes to the party. You can’t miss it.”

“Well一 ” Jaime began, but Jyana cut him off.

“Now, don’t you worry. I’ll pick out your costumes and have them sent on to your room,” Jyana’s eyes gleamed. “I think I know _just_ what you both should wear.”

一

Jaime filled his plate from the lunch buffet and sat down at their table to wait for Brienne. _Gods,_ he was going to miss eating like this when he got home. He wasn’t always that concerned with food, but here, on the cruise, he could have anything he wanted, at any time. His plate was filled with cheese and pineapple sticks, sausage sticks, scotch eggs, pigs in blankets, vol-au-vents, and for dessert he was planning to share a giant slice of black forest gateau with Brienne.

He wanted to share a lot more with her. Waking up with her that morning had almost been embarrassing. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, she jumped out of bed before she’d had a chance to notice his stiffy. Watching Brienne during the aerobics class could have caused him some problems, too. Luckily Victaria was beside him, reeking of Youth Dew and dampening any thoughts he was having about Brienne’s fantastic ass.

Today was the last day of the cruise, but he didn’t want it to be his last day with her. He _liked_ her. _Seven Dancing Hells_ , he more than liked her.

In these few days with Brienne, he felt like he knew her in a way that he’d ever known Cersei. He just wasn’t sure how to go about letting her know how that he wanted to keep seeing her. He should find a way to take Howland’s advice and get them locked in a broom closet. He scarfed down a cream cheese-stuffed celery stick and looked around for her. She should be at the table by now.

He spotted her at the buffet. He grinned. She knew him as well because she had a plate with two slices of gateau in one hand, along with her own plate of food in another. He caught her eye and waved silverware at her. She blushed but offered a shy smile that made him feel ridiculously happy. She was headed his way when Victaria stopped her.

That woman was a nuisance. Jaime wasn’t sure what Victaria was saying, but Brienne looked like she wanted to shove the plate of cake in the other woman’s face. He was just about to go rescue both his bunny and his dessert when Brienne came stomping his way.

She reached the table and dropped both plates, one slice of gateau now hanging precariously off the edge.

“Hey, Bunny一 ” he began, but before he could say anything further, she fisted her hand in the material of his shirt, pulled him half way out of his chair and planted a blazin’ hot kiss on him. He dropped his fork and slid his hands around her waist, pulling her even closer. Her fingers on the back of his neck sent a shiver of desire down his spine.

 _Damn the cake. Her lips were the best dessert a man could have._ He slid one hand lower, slipping it into the back pocket of her jean shorts.

Jaime heard a voice from much too close. “Yooohooo.”

Brienne jerked away, her face red. Jaime turned to Captain Mace with a glare. The idiot man smiled stupidly. “I just wanted to make sure you’re attending the costume party tonight. It’s a tradition here on the BJ.”

Brienne’s face got even redder. “JB,” she mumbled and for a moment her eyes caught his. _Gods, that blue_.

“Later,” she squeaked and took off, her lunch forgotten. Jaime wanted to follow her, but thought he should take a moment to breathe and get control of himself.

Mace turned to Jaime. “I wanted to go as a Dothraki khal this year, but Margaery didn’t think it was dignified enough. I’m going as Py Celle Winkle instead, nightcap and all!” he announced gleefully.

Jaime sat back down before the Captain noticed that even the thought of the portly man in a nightshirt hadn’t stop Jaime from being at full salute.

一

Brienne made her way back to their cabin, hoping Jaime wouldn’t follow her. Or maybe she was hoping he would.

When she and Jaime kissed, her brain went funky and her caution flew out the window. If they hadn’t been interrupted by Captain Mace, Brienne had no idea how far she might have gone. Kissing Jaime was everything. _Jaime_ was everything, every single thing she’d ever wanted in a man.

And tomorrow she would say goodbye to him. _Forever._

Brienne made herself comfortable in a chair on the balcony. She needed to get her head straight. This cruise had been a revelation. She knew she’d never get a guy like Jaime back in the real world, but she deserved better that she had with Hyle.

Tonight was their last night together.

She heard Jaime come back to the room, but didn’t call out to him.

一

Jaime had wandered around the ship, trying to get his head clear, before heading back to the cabin. He was tired and wanted to be with Brienne, but he didn’t want to scare her off. Victaria must have said something to upset her. Brienne was so skittish. One minute she was kissing the daylights out of him; the next she was running away. He had to approach her the right way or he could lose her.

She wasn’t in their room. Maybe she was walking around the ship, getting in a last look before the cruise ended. He was considering going to find her when there was a knock at the door.

Jaime answered, hoping it wasn’t Victaria.

It was Purser Loras with two garment bags, their costumes.

Jaime took them and was ready to shut the door in the man’s face, when Loras put his hand on the door, stopping Jaime from closing it.

“When your Brienne first boarded, I was sure she was lying about having a boyfriend,” Loras said. “Lots of ugly girls do that, book a couple’s cruise, and pretend they got dumped, just so they can be on the make.” He eyed Jaime from head to toe with frank appreciation. “Too bad _you’re_ not playing for both teams.” He leaned against the doorframe and batted his lashes. “I’m even girlier than your _girlfriend._ ”

Jaime’s smile could have cut glass and he gripped the garment bags to stop himself from punching Loras in his smug face.

“Sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all, “but you’re not my type. And Brienne may not be girly, but she’s woman enough for me.”

Loras gave him a look of feigned disbelief before Jaime gave into his initial impulse and did shut the door in right in his face.

Jaime hung up the costume bags, not even bothering to look at what Jyana had chosen for them. He wanted to follow Loras down the hall and beat him to a pulp. Brienne deserved better than having to take crap from assholes like that. He wanted to find her and tell her that, but she hadn’t even left him a note letting him know where she’d gone.

He laid down on the bed and grabbed her pillow. It still smelled of her, fresh and sweet, like honey and the sea, warm and comfortable. But she was more than that. She was everything.

As he drifted off to sleep, his last thought was that he wished she were there beside him.


	11. Exciting and New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has gone through more than a dozen revisions. If you see an error, please let me know.

Brienne sat frozen as she listened to Jaime defend her to Loras. She heard the door shut followed by Jaime shuffling around in the bedroom, then things went quiet. It wasn’t long before she heard Jaime’s deep breathing and the snuffling noise he sometimes made in his sleep.

He’d called her ‘woman enough.’ Did he mean it or was he just saying that to annoy Loras? She didn’t know. And she was even more confused now than she’d been after their most recent kiss. That hadn’t been just pretend, at least not for her.

She sat looking at the sea and resolved to let herself go, let herself have this one last night with Jaime. She would have fun. She would be hip. In whatever costume Jyana had picked out for her.

一

Brienne reconsidered as she looked inside the costume bag for _more_ , a cape perhaps. Or pants, pants would be nice. Instead, she found herself holding a strapless blue satin leotard, complete with fishnet stockings, heels and matching bowtie. A bunny tail and ears sat on the counter beside her.

The outfit was a total nightmare... what there was of it. It was a Petyr Baelish  _Cottontail_ costume. The notorious man ran what amounted to a brothel, publishing _men’s magazines_ filled with photos of scantily clad women interspersed with supposedly intellectual articles pushing Baelish’s own political agenda.

The women in his mansion, his Cottontails, wore costumes just like the one she was holding, poof of cotton on the backside and all. Why had Jyana thought this was a good idea? She supposed it was because Jaime was always calling her “Bunny.” But didn’t the older woman realize how uncomfortable Brienne would be walking around practically naked? She held up the costume again. In reality, there was more material in it than her aerobic leotard or swimsuit, but this was designed to look _sexy_ and Brienne never, ever dressed _sexy_.

She put the costume on, just to see how it would look. The stockings were shockingly long enough and the bowtie fit around her thick neck. The rest of it covered everything it was supposed to cover, and the shape of the neckline actually made her look like she had boobs. But her legs...they were far too muscular for the stockings and with the heels, she would tower over everyone.

She turned to look at her backside. Her shoulders were so freckly, but her butt at least looked firm. Those hours in aerobics class did something for her. She turned back to look at herself full in the mirror. The front view hadn’t improved in the interim.

She heard a soft knock on the bathroom door. “Brienne? Is everything all right?” Jaime called to her.

“I think there’s a problem with my costume. Maybe you should go without me,” she answered. If Jaime saw her in this, well, he’d called her ‘woman enough’ before, but this costume might make him change his mind.

“Come on out and let me see,” he replied, his tone wheedling.

“No. Really, just go without me.” She could go to the Wyl Cove alone. Have a burger.

She could tell he was leaning against the door. “No matter what you’re wearing, it can’t be that bad. It’s a costume party. We all dress up and look ridiculous. That’s the fun part.”

“Not like this,” she argued. “This costume, it’s not... well, it’s not _me_.” She tried to tug the bottom down, but that caused the top to lower and expose even more of her freckled chest. She adjusted it again.

“Jyana picked it out for you. I’m sure it’s fine. And you’re not supposed to look like _you._ That’s the point of wearing a costume.”

She bit her lip. “Everyone will laugh at me.”

“It can’t be that bad. Don’t be a coward. Just come out and let me see,” he goaded her. “Everyone is supposed to look ridiculous. We are all going to be laughing at each other.”

Fine, then. He’d see how ludicrous she looked, and then he’d go without her. _And he’d never kiss her again._ And all the silly hopes that had threatened to spring within her would die.

“Give me a minute,” she said, resolved, then grabbed the rarely-used tube of mascara from her toiletry bag and applied a swipe.

一

Jaime sat on the bed taping his hands, already dressed in his boxer outfit, complete with baggy satin shorts in the design of the Westerlands flag and a matching red satin robe with a gold lion emblazoned on the back. Jyana must have remembered him telling her that he and Brienne used to box. He had no idea what Brienne’s costume was, but of course, she’d be embarrassed to wear just about anything. Not that she should be. She had an amazing body.

His mind flashed to thoughts of her in her aerobics outfit. Damn those baggy shorts of hers.

The bathroom door opened and she stood before him. His eyes started at the black stilettos on her feet and moved up miles of legs encased in net hose, on to the blue satin of a Cottontail costume, cut high above her thighs, to her arms crossed over her chest. A pair of bunny ears dangled from her wrist.

She looked dynamite, that costume showed every curve that she tried to hide. Every curve he wanted to touch or stroke or... Jaime coughed to cover whatever sound was about to come out of his mouth.

“Ridiculous, right?” she asked, sounding miserable, her face flushed an adorable pink. She’d even put on makeup, a feat, Jaime suspected, as she usually wore none at all. It made her blue eyes look huge.

“No,” he heard himself say, although his voice was high and strangled. He coughed again and lowered his pitch. “You don’t look ridiculous. The blue matches your eyes.”

“Well, I _feel_ ridiculous. Why did Jyana pick this out for me?” she huffed. “I look like a hooker. I’m practically naked.”

A hooker? Not Brienne, but she was _dead sexy_ in that costume. Though she wasn’t naked _enough_... Jaime stood up and opened his robe, showing her his bare chest and, thankfully roomy, satin shorts. “Now that makes two of us. Let’s go.”

She looked him up and down, her face turning bright red. Jaime flexed his abs. She looked away. He grinned. Maybe his costume wasn’t so bad after all.

“No,” Brienne gurgled, shaking her head. “I can’t go out in public looking like this.”

“Yes,” Jaime said and grabbed her hand. He wanted to look at her in that outfit all night. If he didn’t take her out, he might want to stay _in_ and that would scare the hells out of her.

She growled at him and tried to pull away. “No,” she repeated. “It would be too embarrassing.”

Jaime released her and put his hands on his hips. “Look, it’s our last night on this cruise. You’re never going to see these people again.”

An odd look flashed in her eyes. He continued.

“Come on… it’ll be fun. Just let it all hang out. Just this once.” He was practically begging. _Gods_ , he wanted to show her off to the Lorases and Victarias of the world. They’d take one look at her in that outfit and then they’d know how stupid they were to mock her. That dickwad Hyle had been an idiot who didn’t know what he’d lost.

Brienne looked at him and there was something in her eyes, something that fed the hope that had been building inside him.

“Our last night…” she repeated, then seemed to come to a decision. She attached the bunny ears to her head and nodded with a stubborn set to her chin. “Let’s make it a good one.”

一

Brienne was determined to have fun. She had no idea what was in a Hodor Wallbanger, but after finishing one, she’d let Jaime lead her out on the dance floor. She spun into his arms and twirled back out, twirling so fast she thought she might get dizzy, but he caught her and they managed the next steps in perfect unison. She loved to dance, but had only done it alone, in her apartment listening to the radio. Hyle had said she was too tall for dancing. Jaime didn’t seem to care that she towered over him, or that her hands were a little sweaty, or that she liked to lead.

The party was now in full swing. Victaria was dressed as the Lyseni dancer Shayala, with teased hair and in a gold dress made more of fringe than of real material. She kept running up to people, wiggling her hips and shouting “cuchi cuchi” in a terrible accent.

Howland and Jyana were jitterbugging in their matching Children of the Forest costumes, complete with leaves, tights, bows and quivers of arrows strapped to their backs. Dalla and Mance were back to _not_ fighting. She was dressed as a Sexy Sand Snake, though her costume bore little resemblance to how a female warrior would actually dress, while Mance had gone full Wildling.

Brienne had already danced with both men, while Jaime had danced with Jyana twice and Dalla not at all, leaving her to Howland. He’d turned his back every time Victaria came near.

Brienne looked over at Captain Mace, in a striped nightshirt and cap, doing a passable imitation of the Lawnmower. Loras and Margaery were doing the Bump dressed as Raggedy Jon and Meera. They were both down, almost to the floor, when Loras took a tumble. Jaime caught her eye and she couldn’t help grinning at him.

The song ended and they headed back to the bar. Brienne definitely needed some water. Willas, dressed as Euron Crow’s Eye, handed them both a tall, icy glass. “So, you two going to enter?” he asked.

She took a napkin and patted the back of her neck as Jaime responded, “Enter what?”

Willas nodded towards his brother Garlan, standing on the stage, dressed in a breeches, a pale yellow shirt, and blue scarf, a perfect Jorah the Andal.

“Attention. Attention, everyone,” Garlan said, a microphone in his hand. “Our last official cruise activity is also one of the most fun.”

Jaime put his hand around Brienne’s waist and pulled her against his side. “I think tonight’s already been a lot of fun,” he whispered in her ear. Despite the fact that she was warm from the dancing, and the crowd, she shivered.

“It’s now time for our Disco Competition!” Garlan continued. Cheers went up from the crowd. “Everyone can participate, but if my sister Margaery, my brother Loras or myself tap you on the shoulder, you’ve been eliminated and must sit down. The last couple standing, wins.”

Jaime sent a look over at Howland and Jyana. He gave Brienne a hip bump, reminiscent of the Reed’s shuffleboard victory dance. Howland waved his bow at Jaime. He held out his had to her. “Come on, Bunny,” Jaime said, “we got this one.”

Brienne looked over at Loras, who returned her look with smug grin before crossing his arms over his chest. “Not if he,” she tilted her head towards the Head Purser, “has anything to say about it.”

“Then we’ll just have to see that he doesn’t,” Jaime said and pulled her out onto the dance floor.

When she’d first put on this ridiculous costume, Brienne certainly hadn’t expected to find herself competing in a Disco Championship, but she was damn well sure she was going to try to win it. “No dips,” she whispered in Jaime's ear.“I don't want to fall.”

Jaime nodded and then led them through a complicated Westerlands Hustle.

The Reeds were eliminated during the third song. Howland was doing the funky chicken instead of the YMSA. He and Jyana sent them a friendly wave and a thumbs up as they went to take their seats. Jaime followed Brienne perfectly through a Stormland slide.

Then things got more serious. Jaime kept her dancing, spinning, turning, weaving their steps together. The one time Loras got close to them, Jaime pivoted Brienne away, leading her through a series of traveling cuddle-and-cradle wheel turns to the other side of the room.

Before she knew it, there were only two couples left on the floor. She and Jaime against Mance and Dalla. Mance tried to duck under Dalla’s arm but instead she swung out in a spin. They collided and Garlan tapped Mance’s shoulder, leaving Brienne and Jaime the last dancers standing.

With a final spin and twist, Jaime grabbed her, and tilted her into a dip so deep that her left leg instinctively shot up in the air.

“I'm strong enough,” Jaime whispered as the applause broke out around them.

一

They stumbled back to their room. In one hand Jaime carried their trophy cup, with Brienne’s ridiculously high heels spilling out the top. His other arm was firmly around Brienne’s waist, his hand resting on her satin-covered hip.

Tonight had been blast. More than that, really. Jaime couldn’t remember ever having such a good time at a party.

Once he’d convinced Brienne just to let go, they’d taken over the dance floor. Jaime knew the red satin of his boxer’s robe made him stand out, but with the tallest Petyr Cottontail in existence in his arms, the crowd had willingly parted for them. Brienne might have been awkward, but she definitely knew how to boogie. He’d wanted to win that competition for her. She looked sexy as hell. He’d wanted her to feel sexy too.

Brienne fumbled with the key and then finally they were inside. She fell back on the bed, and covered her hands with her face. “I can’t believe I did that,” she said.

“Did what?” he asked as he set their trophy down on the desk and began to untape his hands.

She sat up, saying, “Danced like that. I mean...in _public_. I’ve never done that before. And we _won_.”

He turned to look at her. That bunny costume was made for her, but it was slipping down a little in the front. _Gods, she was a total fox. No, not a fox. A bunny._ _His bunny._ “You’re a fantastic dancer. You can’t tell me that was your first competition.”

She nodded vigorously. “It was,” she paused and she looked up at him, her eyes shining. “I would never have done it if it weren’t for you. Thank you, Jaime.”

The blue of her eyes as she looked up at him was just too much. He was strong enough for her, but not strong enough to resist.

一

Brienne wasn’t sure how it had happened. One moment Jaime was pulling the boxing tape from his hands and the next he was on the bed, kissing her. Kissing her like Hyle never had. Her whole body was tingling from the kissing. _And the touching_. Under the circumstances, she couldn’t be blamed for kissing him back, could she?

She ran her hands over his bare chest and shoulders, pulling him free from his robe.

 _Hells_. _This_ was _their last night_ , Brienne thought as Jaime began to unzip her bunny costume.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I slipped a little something in for katy....can you find it?


	12. It's Love!

Brienne had managed to rise, dress, and pack without Jaime waking. When he’d made a little inquiring whimper and reached over to her side of the bed, she’d pushed a pillow at him. He’d hugged it tightly and smiled, just a little, but looking so happy that it made her chest ache.

She wouldn’t forget the sight of him, golden, the sheet draped across his waist leaving his chest bare, his hair fanned out in a halo around his gorgeous face. She wished she had a Polaroid camera to take a picture of him. Just one, to remember him by.

With one last lingering glance, reluctant to leave him, she made her way to the departure deck.  Again she wore her white traveling pantsuit, the same clothes but she was a different woman than she’d been when she’d boarded the boat. Then, all she could think about was losing Hyle. Now, all she could think about was the wonderful time she’d shared with Jaime. Especially last night. Being with Jaime had changed her, probably forever.

She hadn’t gotten engaged to Hyle on the cruise, as she’d almost expected. And, well, she’d known from the start that it wouldn’t last with Jaime. As he had said, they wouldn’t see each other again once the trip was over. She wasn’t a fool; she knew this was just a shipboard fling for him.

She’d left this morning before he could wake up so she wouldn't have to see the regret in his eyes. Or hear him fumble out an excuse about being too busy to see her again, or worse, thank her for helping him get over his stepsister and tell her he finally felt ready to go find someone new. She wouldn’t have been able to hear that; her heart would have cracked right in two. She’d left her bunny ears by the table, but taken the disco trophy with her. She would have at least that.

Margaery, Loras and Captain Mace stood at the entrance to the gangplank, saying goodbye to Mance and Dalla. They seemed to be happy again, until Dalla saw Brienne carrying the trophy. She said something to Mance and they were back to fighting. Brienne caught Willas’ eye as he and Garlan stood at the other departure gate. He looked at the arguing couple and rolled his eyes before winking at her. She would have liked to have exited through their line. She liked Willas and wanted to tell him so, but she was no coward. She could face Loras and Margaery.

“We hope you enjoyed your time aboard the BJ,” Captain Mace said, smiling benevolently, his hat listing to one side.

“JB,” Loras and Margaery intoned in unison, never letting the fake smiles slip from their faces.

“We hope your cruise was a dream come true!” Margaery added with sugary sweetness.

Loras raised his eyebrows and looked around. “Speaking of dreams come true, where’s your _boyfriend?_ ”

Brienne considered telling them the truth, but what would be the point? This trip _had_ been a dream come true, even if she had to wake from it and return to reality. She smiled back, putting as much sincerity as she could muster into it.

“Jaime’s running a little late, as usual. After we won the dance-off last night, I let him sleep in.” She knew how ridiculous that sounded, but couldn’t think of any other reason a real boyfriend wouldn’t be with her. “The cruise was amazing, and I will always remember it.” That part was true, at least.

“You’re really leaving without him?” Loras said with fake wide-eyed innocence. “Or did he manage to skip out first?”

Margaery elbowed her brother in the ribs before turning her fake smile back to Brienne. “I’m _sure_ he’ll catch up with you later.”

Loras just rolled his eyes.

Realizing she had learned one thing from Dalla Rayder, Brienne executed a perfect hair flip at the Tyrell siblings and headed down the gangplank. Leaving their smirks behind, hopefully forever.

一

Jaime woke to find the other side of the bed empty and a pair of bunny ears on the nightstand. He picked them up and grinned, remembering that costume. He’d never look at a Cottontail the same way again. It had been the most amazing night of his life, and it wasn’t just the incredible sex. It was the incredible _her._ She was sweet and sexy and she made him feel like a whole person, not half of someone else.

Thinking she must be in the bathroom, he called out, “Brienne?”

He listened. No response. _Hm._

He couldn’t wait to get started on this next day with her. It might be the last day of the cruise, but not the last day of their time together. No, he wanted to take her to lunch, and then maybe he could persuade her back to his place.

He crawled out of bed. It might be a tight squeeze, but maybe he could join her in the shower. He knocked on the bathroom door. “Bunny?”

Still no response. A little clutch of apprehension formed in his stomach.

He knocked again. “Brienne?”

He tried the handle and the door opened to an empty bathroom.

A voice piped through the shipwide intercom. “We hope you enjoyed your voyage on the Jewel of Braavos with Highgarden Cruise Lines. We have docked at King’s Landing, and passengers are free to depart.”

 _No._ She couldn’t have just left.

Disbelieving, Jaime opened the closet and found only his own clothing remained. Her things were gone.

 _Godsdammit,_ he didn’t have her number or her address. What if her number were unlisted? He couldn’t lose her. How long had she been gone? He didn’t have time to make it down to the departure deck. He pulled on the shorts from his costume, grabbed the bunny ears and rushed out onto the balcony so he could look down at the departing passengers.

一

Brienne had just made it off the ship and was weaving her way through the crowd on the dock when she heard someone calling her name. For a moment, she thought it might be Hyle, come to apologize. It didn’t even take a moment for her to realize she didn’t care. She didn’t need his apology. Hyle Hunt would always be Hyle Hunt, a truly mediocre human being, and that was enough. She picked up her pace.

She heard her name again. She glanced behind her and saw the Reeds were waving their arms and shouting her name. She waved back一 she liked them, but didn’t want to talk, certain they would ask about Jaime. Instead of returning her smile, they pointed excitedly over at the ship.

“Look!” they were bellowing. “Look up!”

She glanced to where they were pointing.

“Brienne. Bunny. Up here!”

She looked up, and up, and up. There, hanging over the railing of the deck, on the balcony of their room, was Jaime. He was shirtless and wearing only his boxer’s shorts and shouting like a madman.

“Jaime?” she yelled back. “What are you _doing_?”

“Bunny, you forgot something!” he shouted, waving the ridiculous ears at her. “A bunny can’t go anywhere without these.”

People were starting to stop and stare at them, making her face flame. She’d been prepared to leave him, walk away with a great memory, and there he was, standing on the balcony almost naked, looking like a half a god, and embarrassing her.

Taken completely off-guard she could only respond, “How many times do I have to tell you? I am _not_ a bunny!”

“You’re _my_ bunny,” he shouted back. “At least you were last night.”

Now the other departing passengers were gathering around her, watching with avid curiosity. She took a breath to steel her resolve.

“Jaime, we agreed that… we agreed, and now the cruise is over.” A movement on the deck below Jaime caught her eye. All four Tyrell siblings were leaning over the rail and looking up at Jaime, then back at her.

“Maybe I don’t _want_ it to be over,” Jaime shouted. Even at that distance, she could see the determination on his face.

“I told you to trap her in a broom closet,” Howland yelled up at Jaime, “not holler at her like a crazy man. That’s not the way you get the girl.”

Brienne turned to look at them and saw Jyana slap his arm, shushing him.

“You work with what you have, Howland,” Jaime yelled back. “So how about it, Brienne?” He shook the bunny ears in her direction.

Brienne flushed all over. “I am not going to discuss it this way. Shouting like this is freaky. We can talk later.” She barely let herself hope that he really did want to see her again and this wasn’t just some big joke. “I’ll meet you somewhere.”

一

Jaime felt certain if he let her walk away now, he’d never get her back. That wasn’t acceptable. Jaime wanted, no, he _needed_ , to make certain Brienne wasn’t going to just walk out of his life.

He made a split-second decision, and hoisted himself over the railing to jump into the sea below. He hit the water and knew he was lucky to have landed in the fifteen foot wide space between the boat and the pier. When he came up for air, he twisted his head back and forth, searching for Brienne. He could see people gathering at the edge of the water.

“Man overboard!” yelled Garlan.

“Someone throw him a life preserver!” shouted Jyana.

“Is he trying to kill himself?” asked Mance.

“Does he need mouth to mouth?” Victaria called out.

“I know CPR!” offered Loras.

“Lovesick idiot,” Howland growled.

“Brienne!” Jaime called out. Then he saw her tall blonde head towering above the others as she made her way through the crowd. He began swimming her way, soggy ears clutched in one hand. “Bunny, I’m coming for you.”

She’d reached the edge of the dock. “What are you _doing_?” she hissed, crouching down to him, seemingly ready to haul him to shore by his armpits.

It was now or never. He looked her right in the eye as he bobbed awkwardly in the water.

“Brienne, I think I’m in love with you.”

一

Brienne caught her breath. Surely she hadn’t heard him right. “What did you say?” She leaned over as he swam toward her, sleek and golden. She wobbled on her heels, near to losing her balance. This couldn’t be real.

She heard a voice that sounded like Jyana’s mutter, “Broom closet,” just before she felt a pair of small hands on her back and was shoved, head first, into the water.

Brienne felt Jaime tugging at her, pulling her up to the surface. She came up spluttering, wet strands of hair plastered to her head, white suit ruined.

Jaime’s arm was around her and his other hand went to her face, moving the hair from her eyes. “Brienne, are you all right?”

She looked at his concerned green eyes, caught her breath, and asked. “Did you just say you love me?”

He nodded, his expression worried as he pulled her close. Their legs knocked against each other as they floated in the water.

“Really?” she asked, wondering, hoping it wasn’t a joke. But Jaime wouldn’t do that. Hyle would, but not Jaime.

“Yes, really. I’ve been in love with you since Pentos. Maybe even before that. I only realized it last night.” He smiled at her, his expression hopeful. “How about it, Bunny?” he asked as they began to move together, floating towards dry land. “Do I have a shot?”

“Gods, Jaime, I’ve been falling in love with you since our first kiss,” she answered as they reached the dock.

“Yooohoo, yooohooo,” a kneeling Captain Mace yelped frantically, throwing life preservers at them as Brienne grabbed the edge of the pier. “I’ve never lost a passenger on the BJ, and I’m not about to start now!”

“That’s the JB, Captain, and you’re not losing us, we just... found each other,” Jaime said, pulling her close.

“It really _is_ the JB ship, isn’t?” Brienne murmured as his lips met hers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the credits roll....
> 
> Thanks to Quinn and hardlyfatal for working me through this. There is a reason I don't do multichapter fics often. I find it too draining, but this one had been in my head for a while. 
> 
> Thank you so much to justme for the incredible graphic. She did another of Jaime and I'm linking it [here](https://i.imgur.com/MKd04YQ.jpg). It had me giggling for days.
> 
> Thank everyone at JBO. You make me laugh and lighten my days.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this one. We are so close to the end of the series and I cannot wait!


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